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26-year-old Weng Meiling committed suicide: As an illegitimate daughter, she was self-destructive in her life. Under the light, how cold is she?
Amoy music 3 days ago I want to share

 

Reprinted from: Zhou Chong's image sound color

ID: zhouchong2017

In the legendary center of the 1980s, there was a beautiful man named Weng Meiling.
Looking back at a long time, Hong Kong in the 1980s was everywhere.
The newspaper is a story of big and big, and there is a dispute between the tides and the tides on TV.
In such an eventful autumn, beauty and lust are flying together, and money is with the name.
Prosperity is a thousand turns, and compassion is also dramatic.
Life is a dream, a thousand years.

 

And in the middle of the legend, there is a beauty.
Her name is Weng Meiling.
She stood at the age of 26, like a stream of light, and decided to pass away, disappearing into the glory of the world.

She is the most classic pretty Huang Rong
Weng Meiling, she is the cinnabar of the chest of a generation.
Many years later, people mentioned Huang Rong, not thinking of Zhou Xun, not Lin Yichen, not Zhu Yin, but Weng Meiling.
She is abruptly flowing, rich in wine, and as smart as a star.
She is the daughter of the Peach Blossom Island, the only one in the heart of the movie, and the idol of the 1980s.
In 1982, "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" was chosen in Hong Kong.
This was a big event at the time.
More than 3,000 actresses signed up, smashing their heads and campaigning for the corner of Huang Rong.

 

At that time, Jin Yong sat in the town and personally selected the female actor who was closest to the character.

 

 

The sea was selected in four batches.
The actors performed a series of auditions, and with the scene of the actor, a play of Huang Rong.
Weng Meiling's fame and appearance, this is not dominant.
She is a TVB hostess, played a few plays, no big red, no big name.
However, she used her mind to make Jin Yong set her on the spot.
It is said that she put on a costume, smashed a wicker, playfully from the face of Jin Yong, a hand, a slap: "The daughter of the late generation Peach Blossom Island, Huang Rong, has seen the gold predecessors."
Described as delicate, it is difficult to hide in words and deeds.

 

This move made Jin Yong shine brightly. In front of this woman, there is a three-pointed evil in the three-pointer, and three points in the seven-point evil. "This is the Huang Rong I am looking for."
Later she got the role and entered the "shooting" crew.
In 1983, "The Eagle Shooting" was broadcast, and it was crazy across the Taiwan Straits.
At that time, the information was not developed, there were not so many film and television resources, and there were not so many idols that were born and colorful.
Once a martial arts drama is aired, hundreds of millions of people will be dreaming about it. Every day, like a ritual, stay in front of the TV at home, watch the grudges and hatreds, and cry for it. It is stirring.

And Weng Meiling’s acting skills made Huang Rong’s corner come alive. She has since become a generation of superstars.

Everyone knows her.
Everyone loves her.
Her resources are getting better and better, and there are always parties and activities.
She made money, bought a villa, and made a splash in the entertainment industry in Hong Kong.
The future seems to be awkward.
How to go, there are surprises in front.
However, in such a grand occasion, she was alone at a sad midnight, opened the gas at home and committed suicide.

Weng Meiling's suicide mystery
Weng Meiling was born in 1959 and died in 1985.
Only 26 years old.
There are only four words in the suicide note: Darling, l love you.

Because of the content of the suicide note, people almost instinctively think of four words: suicide.
The boyfriend she was dating at the time was Tang Zhenye.
So Tang Zhenye became the target of public criticism, and thousands of people pointed out that the people were angry.
The soup town industry can't understand it until now, and I don't know what happened.

He is awkward.
He said, I don't have any other women. She doesn't have any other men. It's a quarrel. It's normal. It won't be like this...
But in May 1985, he could not reflect on it.
He was controlled by sorrow, and the whole person was a fool, and he could only act under the company of Miao Qiaowei.
On the day of Weng Meiling's admission, he came to her.
The scene was weeping.
He dropped his tears and took half a comb from his arms and placed it in Weng Meiling's coffin.
This is the custom of Hong Kong. If the wife is sent first, take half of the comb and put it in the shackles. The meaning is: this life will end, and the next generation will come.
On May 19, 1985, Andy Lau and others lifted and sent Weng Meiling the last leg.
When the coffin went out, the whole of Hong Kong was a sensation.
Countless fans are extremely angry, breaking through the roadblocks, knocking on the coffin, and mourning and mourning: "Meiling, don't die."

Tang Zhenye was once again beaten.
"It’s all you killed Mei Ling."
"Let us Huang Rong!"
Tang Zhenye did not refute the whole process, just silence, just tears.
Since then, Tang Zhen has been eclipsed from the scenery.
He stayed in his own world, thinking about all kinds of back and forth, regretting all kinds of mistakes.
But until today, there are still people who have not forgiven.
Since then, he has had the label of a negative heart and a lover, and he no longer has his own status in the film and entertainment circles.
After many years, he returned to the rivers and lakes, trying to make a living and making a living, but the roles he got were not worth mentioning.
The life of Weng Meiling was terminated, and the cause of Tang Zhenye also came to an abrupt end.
In the early summer of 1985, their brilliant doubles were buried.
Since then, the beauty has rested, and the negative people have been stunned for many years.
Everyone thought that this was all the fault of Tang Zhenye.

 

In 2013, someone built an Weng Meiling website, and let me say: Weng Meiling committed suicide, I am not surprised.
Who is this guy?
Why do you say this?
What does he know?
After a step-by-step secret, the world only knows that the website builder is not someone else, that is, the Dutch boyfriend of Weng Meiling's girlhood.
His name is Robo Ledebow.

He had been in England for four or five years with Weng Meiling. He was a first love and knew a lot about her.
Moreover, I have witnessed Weng Meiling’s inner black hole and various unreasonable places.
He told the world that Weng Meiling had committed suicide many times.

She is an illegitimate daughter
Very strong, and very scarce
Weng Meiling is an illegitimate daughter.
The father is a naval officer, with a wife and a wife, and a family.
Her mother’s identity was criticized and she was accused. Weng Meiling has been suffering from rumors since she started writing.

She remembers the finger pointing of others, remember to be under the fence, remember to fight for the father with others...
These things go deep into the bone marrow, making her feel humble and even shameful about her existence.

When she was young, she lived in the father's hilltop villa, but she did not receive the glory. On the contrary, the mother's tears always accompanied her.

Later, when her father died, she and her mother were driven out.
No family property.
No money.
Did not look forward to the head.
A humiliation, abandonment, and dull.
Later, the mother went to the UK alone, married her stepfather, and left her to be taken care of.
This is the life of Weng Meiling before the age of 13.
In these 13 years, mistresses, illegitimate daughters, monks, incompetence, loneliness, unacceptability, and a sense of margin have become the key words of her life.
When the world can't give her true love and acceptance, she only slowly, in her heart, grows armor, grows spears, grows a big knife, grows an arrow, grows armor, grows a high wall, grows long Take a thorn to fight this hostile world.
So she is very early.
When she was 10 years old, she repeatedly said: This is a society in which people eat people.
At the age of 12 or 3, he has already been deeply acquainted with the human condition. Like a small adult, he analyzes the pros and cons, and moves around. He comforts his mother in the letter.
Her precociousness is admirable, but it is distressing.
She hid her own desires, her own pain, suppressed her child's heart, and put on a strong coat to deal with the storms of the world.
She is almost no longer naive, lives like an adult, and is as strong as an adult.
At the age of 13, she negotiated with the British Immigration and completed the visa.
At the age of 14, she arrived in the UK and went to school. She was only a Chinese.
She has almost no similar kind and no friends, but she said that she either does not learn or learns well.

She has achieved outstanding results in a foreign school. She was admitted to the Cambridge University of Textile Design and began her eight-year college career.
During this time, her work was also seen by the top British clothing company and signed with her.

 

She seems to be going very smoothly.
But her mother said that behind this smoothness is Weng Meiling's efforts to make up 12 points.
She never gives up and has been proving herself: I am excellent.

Being seen is the instinctive desire of mankind.
If they are not satisfied in the relationship, then they will fight elsewhere.
Weng Meiling is a person who lacks love.
She has no real father, no perfect family, no friends at the stage of growth, and has never been truly accepted.
In order not to be forgotten by the world, the needy will strive to win glory, stand in a place where the light shines, tell everyone: Come, please see me!
Therefore, Weng Meiling will never allow herself to be weak.
She began to participate in various beauty contests.
In the United Kingdom, he was elected to the "Miss British Chinese" and won the runner-up.
In 1982, I went back to Hong Kong to participate in the Hong Kong sister competition.

Only got the 8th place, which became her biggest pain point.
After that, I repeatedly said to people: "The eighth sister of Hong Kong is the most unwilling thing for me."
She is so strong and eager to do so, and she is never allowed to be drowned.
Later she won another chance.
This opportunity is also an opportunity to make her a beautiful scenery - TVB hostess.
As a host, she is completely out of the box, other new people are dodging, twisting and pinching, she does not.
She is bold and lively, showing 100% charm in front of the camera.
She sang, she jumped, she wanted to get ahead, and everyone wanted to see her.
Weng Meiling's appearance is not outstanding, but her ambition, her inner strength, is inevitable, making her the focus of the screen.
She succeeded, she became a popular host and became the darling of film and television.

Weng Meiling’s multiple suicides
The ridiculous years have raised her sensitive heart.
The murder of the lonely way, she is still desolate in the bustling, applause, and singing.
Luo Bo told everyone that she had committed suicide many times during his meeting with Weng Meiling.
When they were in the UK, they met at school and later fell in love.
Wengmu objected, because Luobo is a Dutchman, it seems that he cannot give Weng Meiling happiness.
But Weng Meiling's reaction can be imagined.
Of course she will not give up.
A cold person will not give up the fire, even if the fire will hurt himself;
Lonely and scarce people will not give up love, even if the nature of love is complex, good or bad.
She confronted Weng.
On the fifth day, she was quiet and swallowed a lot of sleeping pills.

This is her first time to commit suicide.
Just like a Pandora's Box was opened, Weng Meiling's self-destruction also kicked off.
Later, Weng Ma compromised and allowed them to associate.
In the remaining time of middle school, Weng Meiling and Luo Bo are together, but this does not stop Weng Meiling's low value, anxiety, anxiety.
Because relationships can't save people, relationships can't be patched for your holes.
The only one who can save himself from the fire is himself.
But Weng Meiling didn't know all about it. She let her emotions go, love, go, and toss.
Later, she and Luo Po went to different universities, separated the two places, suspicion, loneliness, insecurity, and swallowed her again.
In the dormitory of the school, she swallowed a lot of pills again.
When she was about to be unconscious, she thought of a life that had not yet been opened. Suddenly she did not want to die. She moved to the wall with her last strength and raised her hand against the wall.
Fortunately, there was someone in the dormitory next door, and she heard her help and sent her to the hospital.
This is her second suicide.
Later, she returned to Hong Kong to meet and fall in love with Tang Zhenye.
One time, the reporter photographed the two of them together. She was in a bad state, her face was bleak and extremely embarrassing. The reporter asked her why she was not happy.
She groaned for a long time and said softly: "I have taken the wrong medicine."

This is the third time she has recorded a drug to commit suicide.
Later, because Tang Zhenye went to Taiwan to film, she couldn't stand it and had taken sleeping pills.
On May 10, 1985, because she was over-controlled, she couldn't stand the separation from Tang Zhenye. She couldn't stand Tang Zhenye's intimate play with others. She couldn't stand Tang Zhenye's bitterness to her... they both Between, it becomes contradictory.
Weng Meiling called her friend and told her inner pain.
Friends suggested that she go to Macau to play.
On May 11, 1985, she ended her trip to Macau and returned to Hong Kong. At this time, she saw the anecdote of Tang Zhenye and immediately fell into a collapse.
On May 13, 1985, it was heard that Tang Zhenye and Weng Meiling were arguing in the dressing room. Weng Meiling cried and hysterically cried: "Then break up."
But that night, she returned home, but began to continue to kill the chain of CALL.
She said to the paging station: "If you don't call me back, you won't see me."
Tang Zhenye still did not return, she was in desperate state.

 

That night, she called her friend: "It's too bitter to live, I don't want to live."
On May 14th, because I didn’t trust Weng Meiling, my friend went to find her and knocked on the door for a long time. No one responded.
When she broke into the door, she found that she had already left.
She was sitting on the couch, wearing a red robe, and she had no breathing.
The time of death is between 3 and 4 am.
A generation of beautiful people, this rushed to a curtain call.
The legendary screams, with a full stop, outside the full stop, is the regret of countless people, and the grief of countless people.

Low-value person
Will try to prove myself
But the inner void is never full.
The most fearful thing in the world is not a ghost, not suffering, but being abandoned.
When Weng Meiling was born, she was a person who was completely rejected.
Mother is a mistress without a name.
Although she lives in her father's house, she is inferior everywhere, and her rumors have never stopped.
People pointed at her and said that she was unclean and said she was a small monk.
She has been living in the void, she has been desperately trying.
To be famous, to win, to be favored by others - even if it is less.

After she was driven out by her father's family, she was boarding at her family. At that time, she had a feeling of surpassing her loved ones.
"I remember the hour, I often spoke to my uncle, and even asked him to feed before eating."
She was seven or eight years old and went to elementary school. She was so loved, but because she was too lacking, she wanted to be exaggerated.
This lack of control also led to her excessive control over cockroaches.
Later, when she made a girlfriend, she would be furious.
"I was very upset in my heart, worried that my uncle was taken away."
Therefore, she will be in the presence of his girlfriend, swearing in the arms, like a sworn sovereignty.
Because of the boundaries, the scene is always very embarrassing.
So my girlfriends either hurt her or hate her.
After arriving in the UK, she was the same for Luobo. She didn't want to leave for a moment, and she always wanted to see it.
When she was in love with Tang Zhenye, she often had nightmares. She woke up at midnight and said to people: "I dreamed that Tang Zhenye would not want me." Then she cried in the dark night.
She is like a bird of surprise.
The battle is raging, like a thin ice.

 

As a child who has been treated as a cold, her sense of security is -10,000 points.
Others gave 100, far from enough; given 1000, it is still not enough.
To give 10000, it can be flat.
If you are a little less, you will still be afraid and still uneasy.
But in the world, there are people who are constantly "giving", in the dusty world, many are lack of faceless people, everyone is asking, everyone is asking.
Her British boyfriend is, Tang Zhenye is also.

 

 

Finally, they can't give it.
Emotional banks have been overdrawn and no balance is available for withdrawal.
On the day of May 13

 

26岁翁美玲自杀:身为私生女,一生在自毁,光芒之下,她到底有多凄凉?
淘漉音乐3天前我要分享

 

转载自:周冲的影像声色

ID:zhouchong2017

80年代的传奇中央,有一个美人叫翁美玲。
隔了长长的时光往回看,80年代的香港,遍地皆浮沉。
报上是大来大去的故事,电视里是潮起潮落的纷争。
那样的多事之秋里,美色与情欲齐飞,金钱与盛名同在。
繁华是千回百转的,悲愁也是戏剧化的。
浮生若梦,一日千年。

 

而那些传奇的中央,有一个美人。
她叫翁美玲。
她站在26岁的当口,像一抹流光,决然地流逝,消失于灯火辉煌的滚滚尘世。

她是最经典的俏黄蓉
翁美玲,她是一代人的胸口朱砂痣。
多年以后,人们提起黄蓉,想到的不是周迅,不是林依晨,不是朱茵,而是翁美玲。
她明眸流转,浓酽如酒,灵动如星。
她是影迷心中独一独二的桃花岛主之女,也是80年代万千宠爱集一身的偶像。
1982年,《射雕英雄传》在香港选角。
这在当时是盛极一事的大事。
3000多个女演员报名,挤破脑袋,竞选黄蓉一角。

 

当时金庸坐镇,亲自甄选最贴近角色的女主。

 

 

海选分四批进行。
演员们一批批进行试镜,并与现场的男演员,对一段黄蓉的戏。
翁美玲的名气与相貌,本不占优势。
她是TVB女主持,演过几出戏,并无大红,也无大名。
但她巧借心思,令金庸当场拍板定了她。
据说,她换上古装,拈一根柳条,俏皮地来自金庸面前,一拱手,一作揖:“晚辈桃花岛主之女黄蓉,见过金前辈。”
形容里尽是娇俏,言行中难掩狡黠。

 

这个举动令金庸眼前一亮,眼前这女子,三分正里七分邪,七分邪里有三分正,“这就是我要找的黄蓉。”
后来她得到角色,进入《射雕》剧组。
1983年,《射雕》播出,两岸三地,为之疯狂。
那时的资讯不发达,没有那么多影视资源,也没有那么多横空出世、姹紫嫣红的偶像。
一旦有一部武侠大剧开播,几亿人都会为之魂牵梦绕,每天像进行一种仪式一样,准时守在家中的电视机前,观看其中的恩怨情仇,为其落泪,也为其激荡。

而翁美玲的演技,又令黄蓉一角活了过来。她自此成为一代巨星。

人人都认识她。
人人都爱着她。
她的资源也愈发好起来,不断有片约,不断有活动。
她赚了钱,买了别墅,在香港娱乐圈呼风唤雨。
前途似乎一片璀璨。
怎么走,都有惊喜在前方。
然而就在这样的盛况中,她在某个悲凉的午夜,独自一人,打开家中煤气,自杀身亡。

翁美玲自杀之谜
翁美玲生于1959年,死于1985年。
年仅26岁。
遗书中只有四个字:Darling,l love you。

因为遗书的内容,人们近乎本能地想到四个字:为情自杀。
当时她正在交往的男朋友,是汤镇业。
于是汤镇业成为众矢之的,千夫所指,万民共怒。
可汤镇业至今都无法理解,不知道发生了什么。

他是懵的。
他说,我没有别的女人,她也没有别的男人,就是吵架,也是很正常的,不至于这样......
但在1985年5月,他根本无法反思。
他被悲伤所控,整个人呆若木鸡,只在苗侨伟的陪伴下方能行事。
翁美玲入敛那天,他来到她面前。
现场一片悲泣。
他落下眼泪,从怀中掏出半把梳子,放在翁美玲的棺木中。
这是香港的风俗,若结发妻子先走,取一半梳子,置于棺中,寓意为:今生结发,来生同行。
1985年5月19日,刘德华等人抬棺,送翁美玲最后一程。
灵柩出殡时,整个香港都为之轰动。
无数影迷气愤至极,冲破路障,敲击棺木,悲怆哀嚎:“美玲,你不要死。”

而汤镇业再度被痛骂。
“都是你害死了美玲。”
“还我们黄蓉!”
汤镇业全程未反驳,只是沉默,只是流泪。
自此以后,汤镇业息影,从风光中隐退。
他呆在自己的世界里,思考种种来回,忏悔种种过失。
但直至今天,依然有人未曾原谅。
他自此有了一个负心汉、绝情郎的标签,在影坛、娱乐圈,也不再有自己的地位。
多年后他重出江湖,试图接戏谋生,但所得到的角色,全都不值一提。
翁美玲的生命终止了,汤镇业的事业也戛然而止。
在1985年的初夏,他们的辉煌双双被埋葬。
此后,美人安息,负心人被舆论多年凌迟。
所有人都以为,这全是汤镇业的错。

 

可在2013年,有人建了一个翁美玲网站,并且放话出来说:翁美玲自杀,我并不惊讶。
这个人是谁?
为什么说出这种话?
他知道什么?
后经一步步揭秘,世人方才知晓,那个网站建设者不是别人,就是翁美玲少女时期的荷兰男友。
他叫罗泊·莱得鲍。

他曾和翁美玲在英国交往四五年,是初恋,对她知之甚多。
并且,也曾亲眼见证翁美玲的内心黑洞,和种种不太合常理的地方。
他告诉世人,翁美玲曾多次自杀。

她是私生女
无比好强,也无比匮乏
翁美玲是私生女。
父亲是海军军官,有妻有妾,有家有室。
她母亲身份尴尬,备受指摘,翁美玲从记事起,就一直承受流言之苦。

她记得他人的指指点点,记得寄人篱下,记得自己与人争抢父亲......
这些东西深入骨髓,令她对自己的存在,充满了卑微感,甚至是耻辱感。

幼时,她虽然住在父亲的山顶别墅里,但并未受尽荣宠,相反,母亲的眼泪一直陪伴着她。

后来父亲去世,她和母亲被赶了出来。
没家产。
没钱。
没盼头。
一身屈辱,惨遭抛弃,满目无光。
再后来,母亲独自前往英国,嫁给继父,留她被舅舅照顾。
这是翁美玲13岁前的人生。
在这13年里,情妇、私生女、贱人、不入流、孤独、不被接纳、边缘感......成了她的生命关键词。
当世界不能给予她真正的爱与接纳,她就只有慢慢地,在内心里,长出盔甲,长出长矛,长出大刀,长出箭矢,长出盔甲,长出高墙,长出荆棘,来对抗这个充满敌意的世界。
所以她极为早熟。
10岁时,她就反复说:这是一个人吃人的社会。
12、3岁时,就已经深谙世事人情,如同小大人,分析利弊,左右腾挪,在信中百般安慰母亲。
她的早熟令人佩服,但又令人心疼。
她藏起了自己的欲求,自己的痛,压抑自己的童心,换上坚强外衣,去应对人世的风雨。
她几乎不再天真,像大人一样处世,也像大人一样好强。
13岁时,她自己与英国移民局交涉,办妥了签证。
14岁,她抵达英国,上学,学校里只有她一个华人。
她几乎没有同类,也没有朋友,但她说,要么不学,要么就学好。

她在异国的学校里,依然取得了优异成绩,她被剑桥大学纺织设计专业录取,开始了8年的大学生涯。
而在这段时间,她设计的作品,也被英国顶级的服装公司看中,与她签了约。

 

她似乎走得极为顺遂。
但她母亲说,这顺遂的背后,是翁美玲拼尽十二分的努力。
她从不服输,一直在证明自己:我是优秀的。

被看见是人类的本能欲望。
如果在关系中无法满足,那么,他们就会在别的地方争取。
翁美玲是爱匮乏的人。
她没有真正的父亲,也没有圆满的家庭,成长阶段也没有朋友,几乎不曾被真正接纳过。
为了不被人世遗忘,匮乏的人会努力赢得荣耀,站在光芒万丈的地方,告诉所有人:来,请看见我!
所以翁美玲决不允许自己是弱的。
她开始参加各种选美比赛。
在英国时,参选“英国华裔小姐”,获得亚军。
1982年,回香港参加港姐比赛。

只获得第8名,这成了她最大的痛点。
之后反复对人说:“港姐只得第八是我最不甘心的事。”
她好强至此,也渴望至此,决不允许自己被淹没。
后来她争取到了另一个机会。
这个机会,也是一个能令她风光无限的机会——TVB女主持人。
做主持,她是完全豁出去的,别的新人躲躲闪闪,扭扭捏捏,她不。
她大胆活泼,在镜头面前100%地彰显魅力。
她唱,她跳,她要出人头地,要所有人都看见她。
翁美玲的容貌,不算出类拔萃,但是她的野心,她内在的劲儿,还是不可避免地,令她成为荧屏焦点。
她成功了,她成了当红主持,也成为影视的宠儿。

翁美玲的多次自杀
荒芜的岁月,养就了她敏感内心。
肃杀孤苦的来路,令她在繁华、掌声、笙歌之中,依然备感荒凉。
罗泊告诉大家,在他与翁美玲相识期间,她多次自杀。
在英国时,他们在学校中相遇,后来相恋。
翁母反对,因为罗泊是荷兰人,似乎不能给予翁美玲幸福。
但翁美玲的反应,我们都能想象得到。
她当然不会放弃。
寒冷的人,是不会放弃火的,哪怕那火会伤及自身;
孤独匮乏的人,也不会放弃爱,哪怕那爱性质复杂,吉凶未卜。
她与翁母对抗。
在第5天时,她不动声色,吞下大把安眠药。

这是她第一次吞药自杀。
就像一个潘多拉魔盒被开启,翁美玲的自毁,也揭开了序幕。
后来翁母妥协,任由他们交往。
在中学剩下来的时光里,翁美玲和罗泊都在一起,但这并不能阻止翁美玲的低价值感、不安感、焦虑感。
因为关系无法救人,关系也无法为你的空洞,打上补丁。
能拯救自己于水火的,只有自己。
但翁美玲并不知晓这一切,她听任自己的情绪,去爱,去要,去折腾。
后来她和罗泊上了不同的大学,分隔两地,猜疑、孤独、不安全感,再次吞噬了她。
她在学校的宿舍里,又一次吞下大量药丸。
在即将不省人事时,她想到尚未开启的人生,忽然不想死了,用最后的力气挪到墙边,抬手叩击墙壁。
好在隔壁宿舍有人,并且听出了她的求救,把她送到医院。
这是她第二次自杀。
后来她回到香港,与汤镇业相识、相恋。
有一回,记者拍到他们俩在一起,她当时状态不好,脸色黯淡,极为憔悴,记者问她为什么不开心。
她懦懦良久,轻声说:“我吃错药了。”

这是她有记录的第三次吃药自杀。
后来因汤镇业去台湾拍戏,她无法忍受,又吃过安眠药。
1985年5月10日,因她控制欲过重,丝毫忍受不了与汤镇业的分离,也忍受不了汤镇业与他人拍亲热戏,更忍受不了汤镇业对她的点滴冷落......他们二人之间,变得矛盾重重。
翁美玲向友人打电话,诉说内心的痛苦。
友人建议她去澳门玩玩。
1985年5月11日,她结束了澳门之旅,回到香港,这时,她看到了汤镇业的绯闻,立即又陷入崩溃。
1985年5月13日,有人听到汤镇业与翁美玲在化妆间争吵,翁美玲一边哭,一边歇斯底里地哭喊:“那就分手好了。”
但当天晚上,她回到家,却开始对汤镇业不停地夺命连环CALL。
她对寻呼台说:“如果还不回我电话,就看不到我了。”
汤镇业依然没有回,她就此陷入绝望状态。

 

那天晚上,她给友人打电话:“活着太苦了,我不想活了。”
5月14日,因为不放心翁美玲,友人去找她,敲了很久的门,无人响应。
破门而入时,发现她已经走了。
她坐在沙发上,披着红色睡袍,已经没有了呼吸。
死亡时间是凌晨3点-4点。
一代美人,就此仓促谢幕。
传奇呀地一声,划上了句号,句号之外,是无数人的遗憾,与无数人的哀思。

低价值感的人
会拼命证明自己
但内心的虚空,从未有完满之时
人世间最恐惧的事,不是鬼,不是受苦,是被抛弃。
而翁美玲从一出生,就是一个被圆满所排斥的人。
母亲是没有名分的情妇。
她虽然住在父亲的宅子中,但处处低人一等,流言从未有一天停息。
人们对她指指点点,说她不洁,说她是小贱人。
她一直活在虚空里,她一直在拼命地要。
要名气,要赢,要他人的宠爱——哪怕少一点都不行。

她被父亲一家赶出来后,寄宿在舅舅家,那时候,她对舅舅就有一种超越亲人的情感。
“记得小时的我,经常向舅父撒娇,竟然要他喂才吃饭。”
她那时已经七八岁,上了小学,如此索爱邀宠,不过是因为过于缺失,想要被夸张的弥补。
而这种缺失,也导致了她对舅舅过度的控制。
后来舅舅交女朋友,她都会大发雷霆。
“我心中便很不高兴,担心舅父被人抢走。”
所以她会当着他女友的面,在舅舅怀中暧昧地撒娇,如同宣誓主权。
因为超越界限,场面总是非常难堪。
所以舅舅的女朋友们要么很疼她,要么很恨她。
到了英国以后,她对罗泊也是一样,片刻不想离开,时时都希望见到。
而与汤镇业热恋时,她经常做噩梦,午夜惊醒,对人说:“我又梦到汤镇业不要我了。”然后在暗夜里大哭。
她如同惊弓之鸟。
战战兢兢,如履薄冰。

 

作为一个受尽冷遇的孩子,她的安全感是-10000分的。
他人给了100 ,远远不足;给了1000 ,也还是不够。
要给10000 ,才能持平。
少一点,就依然惶恐,依然不安。
可世间哪有这样不断“给”的人,红尘乱世里,多是面目不一的匮乏者,人人都在求,人人都在要。
她的英国男友是,汤镇业也是。

 

 

终于,他们给不了了。
情感银行已经被透支,没有余额可供支取。
5月13日那天

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