From:       Di
To:          This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Subject:   Di's Memories of Barbara
Date:       Sat, 12 Feb 2011 21:04:56 +0000


Hello Rob


Those really were special days for us all. I remember Barbara being a very sweet, quiet person who Rob treated with so much gentleness and respect. She was probably overwhelmed with all the noise and laughter going on in our house (Steve's and mine in Westfield Road, Gt Shelford).


We used to invite friends back to the house on Sunday and cook an English roast dinner (roasted chicken, roasted potatoes, Yorkshire puddings, and lots of vegetables and gravy/sauce). It didn't seem to matter how many people were there were, we still managed to feed everyone. We would then spend all afternoon playing board games or cards, and in the evening we would fill pitta breads with the rest of the chicken and some cheese to feed us all again.

 

Sundays Barbara didn't have to work at the chip shop so this was a day that she and Rob could come to Shelford to spend time together. Before Yolande and Chris came to live with us, Rob and Barbara had their own room which meant they could spend precious time on their own.


I remember before we moved to Shelford, Steve and I used to live in Guest Road (near to the college where we all went) and Steve and I would collect Rob (who didn't have a car) on a Friday evening (Barbara would have been working) and we would go to a supermarket called the Beehive Centre and shop for our weekly groceries. We would then go back to Rob's flat in Bridgeacre House and play cards or Steve and Rob would play Chess. Steve and I would take advantage of Rob's bathroom as ours in Guest Road was really horrible and cold!


I can't remember how Steve and I found out that Barbara had tried to commit suicide but we went to see her in the hospital and the only thing I remember was how small she looked against the big white sheets of the hospital bed. Rob and Barbara tried so hard to stay together but it must have been so difficult for them with all the outside pressures they had and I am very glad that they had our house to come to. Barbara was always very welcome in our home.

 

Barbara together with you and with my brother Nick just after sunday dinner

1979 westfield road pic 1

 

1979 westfield road pic 2


I was really shocked to discover that Barbara had died in Hong Kong. Steve and I had separated by then and I was at the Cambridge Cemetery attending the funeral of a relative. I just happened to see Barbara's gravestone, with a beautiful ceramic picture of her on it so I had no doubt it was her. I wasn't sure if Rob would have heard about it so I wrote to him in Holland to tell him. I think Rob says I told him I saw news of her death in the local newspaper but I can't remember that. My memory seems to be very bad!


I knew that Barbara had become an actress but I had no idea what a huge following she had and still has today! It is amazing how many lives she has touched in what was a very short life.


In January 2011 Rob, his brother Fred, Yolande, Chris (also from Holland), Steve, my brother Nick and Sue all came to see me. We had not all been together for over 30 years and it was so great to see each other again. We raised a glass in honour of Barbara, because without her we would never have all got together again after so many years.


A toast to Barbara!
Di

 

di in brussel

di and dogs

(In the garden at our house at Westfield Road in Shelford with the dogs Jamie and Tanya)

 

Di的回忆

Rob你好,
那些日子对我们每个人而言都是非常特别的时光。我记忆中的Barbara甜甜的,很文静,Rob对她总是很温柔很尊重。在我们家的时候,她可能被吵嚷声和大笑声淹没了。(Steve和我在圣瑟费尔德 (Gt Shelford) Westfield路,合住的房子)

我们常常在周日邀请朋友们到家里来,做一顿英式烤肉午餐(烤鸡,烤土豆,约克郡布丁,许多蔬菜和肉汁/酱汁)。仿佛不管来多少人我们都能让大家吃饱。下午大家玩棋牌游戏,晚上我们用剩下的鸡肉加上一些奶酪夹圆面包吃。

周日Barbara不需要在炸鱼薯条店里工作,所以周日她和Rob来圣瑟费尔德(Gt Shelford)相聚。在Yolande和Chris搬来之前,Rob和Barbara有他们自己的房间,他们可以有宝贵的单独相处的时间。

我记得在我们搬到圣瑟费尔德Gt Shelford之前,Steve和我住在Guest路(离我们的大学很近)。Steve和我周五晚上开车去接Rob(那时他没有车,Barbara那个时段在打工),我们一起去一个叫Beehive中心的超市买下周的日用品。然后我们回到Rob在Bridgeacre的公寓玩牌,Steve和Rob下象棋。Steve和我用Rob的浴室淋浴,因为我们家里的浴室又冷又糟糕。

我不记得Steve和我是怎么得知Barbara尝试自杀的事,但我记得我们去医院看望她。我能记得的唯一细节是她躺在医院病床的大白床单上,看起来那么小。Rob和Barbara那时想尽办法能在一起,但是他们面临的外界压力一定也给了他们很大的困难。我很高兴他们那是可以到我们的房子来。我们也总是很欢迎她的到来。

当得知Barbara在香港离世的消息时,我非常震惊。那时我和Steve已经分手了。我到剑桥公墓去参加一个朋友亲戚的葬礼。 我碰巧看到了Barbara的墓碑,上面有一张她的很美丽的瓷像。我当时就确定是她。我不知道Rob是否听说了,因此我给已在荷兰的他写了封信告诉他。Rob说我告诉他我看到了地方报纸关于她去世的消息,但是我不记得了。我的记性看来是很差的。

我知道Barbara后来成了一位演员,我不知道她有过那么多的影迷,甚至于到现在还有。在她短暂的生命中她感动了感动着那么多的人,这真的是令人惊叹。

2011年1月,Rob, 他的哥哥Fred, Yolande, Chris (也是来自荷兰),Steve,我的哥哥Nick和Sue一起来看我。我们有30年没有见面了,能够再次重逢太好了。我们为了Barbara举杯,因为没有她的缘故,我们不会在这么多年后再次相聚。

为Barbara干杯!

(thanks to Natalie for the translation)

 

Comments   

# DiDi Wright 2011-01-07 22:29
Hi Rob,
Have really found this tribute to Barbara moving - I remember very well our Sunday roasts and bath nights round at Bridgeacre! Talk about a trip down memory lane - I had no idea Barbara had become such a prominent figure - with so many followers so many years later. You didn't mention that the Cat you were given by Barbara's Mum became named Asparagus - do you remember? I was sorry to hear that the cat Steve's grandma let you have and which you then gave to Barbara's Mum was so ill - I don't think I realised that at the time. Do you remember going shopping at the Beehive Centre on Friday nigths before we went back to yours for bath night? I have a picture of you and Barbara with my brother Nick sitting round the dining table at the house in Great Shelford. The table where we used to play all those games of Risk, Buccanneer and whatever else. I will email it to you when I can find your email address.
Reply
# Di's brother the Triad Gangster LookalikeDi Wright 2011-01-25 10:55
Di's brother 30 years later now has very short hair and wears glasses and a shirt and tie. Even gangster lookalikes grow up!

Barbara was a very welcome visitor in our house. She was very sweet and quite quiet (probably a good thing as the rest of us made lots of noise). Our house was somewhere where Rob and Barbara could spend time together.
Reply
# RE: Memories from DiMei Ling Fan 2011-02-16 00:21
Hi Di, Thanks for this story. Regarding the huge following that you had no idea, well, it is the role that she played in the TV series Legend of The Condor Heroes 1983 as Huang Rong.

Most Chinese community across the globe will remember her whenever this series is rerun on television. She is a cultural icon to the Chinese.
Reply
# Re memories from DiDi 2011-02-17 19:53
Hello Mei Ling Fan,
I have never seen this series so I must have a look and see if I can catch it on you tube. I am glad in a way that I did not know how famous Barbara had become - I only every knew her as a friend to us and it was lovely to see her and Rob together
Reply
# RE: Re memories from DiMei Ling Fan 2011-02-18 09:01
Hi Di

Barbara was very famous after the success of this series. By the way, I'm sorry to inform that you might not be able to view this series on You Tube. I've seen fans putting up the series and was taken down like a week later. TVB the station that hold the rights to this series disallow users to post.

For a chance if you ever passby Chinatown and any DVD shop you could ask them is the series box set with English suntitles on sale.

It is called Legend of the Condor Heroes Part 1, 2 and 3 (1983 edition)and it is a complete Collectors edition. You have to quote Barbara's Chinese name Yung Mei Ling or else the sales person might be clueless. ;-)
Reply
# RE: Memories from Dihey 2011-02-18 15:01
You can ask Rob to lend you LOCH to watch it, lor. He has it.
Reply
# RE: Memories from DiBarbara Fan 2011-02-20 11:58
Hi Di, That was so nice of u and Steve visiting Barbara in the hospital, u and Steve must been the most nicest and friendly people around back then. Reading Rob's stories has also got me interested in reading about the groups of friends involved in Rob and Barbara life.

Di, can I ask some questions, 1. how did u find this website. 2.what has been going on with life since Rob and Barbara left England. 3.I read there was a reunion last month, but how come u's havent seen each other for 30+ years.

Di, if these questions are too personal, u dont have to answer them.
Reply
# RE: Memories from Dihey 2011-02-20 15:19
Oh yes, Di, what made you find Rob? Googling Barbara and in turn it leads you to Rob? Or you google about Rob and you are here to find him?
Reply
# RE: Memories from DiHannah 2011-03-10 02:21
Oh I love these photos of Barbara. Thank you so much for sharing your story Di. It means so much to me and I know it does to thousands of her fans also. I am also happy that she was able to bring you guys together after so many many years. Such memories are always carried in the heart.
Reply
# Replies to QuestionsDi 2011-08-31 18:27
I am amazed at how many comnents have been postedfollowing my memories of Barbara and Rob. To answer some of your questions; Rob contacted me after he traced me through Sue. 10 days later everyone had come over from Holland and stayed in my house. What have we been doing over the last 30+ years? We all went our separate ways after college, got married, had children, followed careers and so on. Yolande and I always kept in touch and it is easier now our children have grown up to visit. I have been widowed for the last two years so this reunion has been very special to me and it is just so wonderful that we all still get on together as adults. It is almost like my old friends came back into my life at a time I needed them. I hope we will keep in touch for a long time to come.
Reply
# RE: Replies to Questionspekon 2011-09-07 19:52
Hi Di,
Sure friends are always an integral part of our lives.
Specially the old pals from school, colleges, share more bonds coz you met them when you were as immature as they were..
They know you, and you know them in their naive.. God bless you all frinds :)

But now its important that you all keep meeting regularly.. without making excuses..

with regards, pekon
Reply
# RE: Memories from Dihey 2011-09-08 13:08
excuse my joke. It looks like that "gangster" friend, Nick seemed to be in love with Barbara because he was secretly looking at Barbara in that photo, hahaha. LOL
Reply
# RE: 2. memories from Di Di的回忆ashura 2014-07-12 15:39
what's wrong?I can't see the second photo.
Reply
# RE: 2. memories from Di Di的回忆Rob 2014-07-13 08:03
Something went wrong, I repaired it.
Reply

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