One day Barbara told me that she missed a period. Our friends said not to worry, it often happens at that age. Then Barbara missed the following period. We didn't feel very comfortable with this.

Those days you couldn't get a pregnancy test from the supermarket. You had to make an appointment by the doctor. Barbara didn't want to do that. She was afraid that her mother would find out. She told me all kinds of horror stories about what Chinese parents do when they find out that their daughter isn't innocent anymore. She would be the shame of the family and who knows what would happen then. But Barbara missed the following period as well. Now we got really worried. It was time for us to consider the alternatives. For Barbara there was only one option. She said: "If I am pregnant I am going to have this baby, no discussion". And she made something else clear as well, 'If you leave me now, I will certainly kill you!' When she said this she looked at me with such an aggression in her big black eyes, that I am sure she meant it.

First we had to be sure that Barbara was pregnant. Luckily the school nurse was a good friend of my parents. We could trust her that she would not contact Barbara's mother. She also tried to comfort us by saying that it often happens that girls miss periods, especially when they living in a stressful environment.

She arranged for us a doctor who would do a pregnancy test and keep it secret. When we went to this doctor to hear the results of the test, the waiting room was full. One of my classmates was sitting there as well. I started talking to her which really annoyed Barbara, she had hoped that this visit could have been kept secret. What didn't help was that this classmate immediately asked me if Barbara was pregnant (she was a gossiping type of girl). I asked her why she asked, she said 'why would you else come both to see the doctor'.

When we stepped in de doctors office and sat down Barbara had such a beautiful expression on her face, I can still remember it well. It was a mixture of intens strain compared with kind of absent mindedness nearly dreaming.
Barbara wasn't pregnant. She was disappointed. Pregnance would have forced such a major decision in her relation with her family. Her family would have to accept me or expel her. But she was also realistic enough to know that having a child was something we both didn't want at that time.



(thanks to Zhuoye for the translation)



# More worriesGuest 2010-09-01 16:55

Thank you for sharing of your life with Barbara. I always think its a miracle that I can know the early life of Barbara. Even the story was 30 years ago, it did not fade away. Thank you again, Rob.
# RE: More worries Guest 2010-09-02 01:22
dear Rob,

i prefer barbara choose u rather than her family if she is pregnant at that time. I m sure that ur parent will take care both of u. Look forward to hear from you soon. thanks
# RE: More worries Guest 2010-09-02 03:37
Ouch, this post could make a big impact for Barbara's fans. We have to admit, there are still alot more people who believe a girl should stay 'innocent' till she got married.

I hope her fans are open mind's people.Keep up the updates Rob. But if I may suggest you, you should re-think before you post something.

I still love Barbara no matter what...
# carlyGuest 2010-09-02 04:20
Yes, I agree with you dewdew.
# RE: RE: More worries Guest 2010-09-02 13:42
Very considerate comments, but I think it's okay. Time is different. Old fans like us are mature enough to understand the cultural difference, whereas young fans of today will no longer think that way at all (even elementary school kids falling in love is a norm in today's china. oh boy).
# RE: More worries Guest 2010-09-02 06:59
thank you rob for sharing this intimate information of barbara and you to us. it maybe a little too much information to some people, hence some may make unfriendly comments. but i would like everyone who follows and reads this blog of rob, to respect rob's rights and show our appreciation to him (by not making negative comments), for sharing his and barbara's wonderful time with us.
# More WorriesGuest 2010-09-02 12:52
We are in the year 2010. I think it is acceptable for Rob to talk about his personal perience with Barbara on "More Worries - Barbara's Doctor visits". Just because they are not married means that they are bad. Even legally married couples have a lot of personal problems that other people are not aware of!!
>> Hi Readers, please respect Bob's rights.
# RE: More worries Guest 2010-09-02 13:27
What a bittersweet episode! Barbara might be still living a happy life with you today, had the pregnancy been true! Yeah there would be wars and fights and tears etc., but the ending will almost certainly be better. :cry:
# RE: More worries Guest 2010-09-02 13:41
I think you BarFan readers should not expect to read what you like/want to read. As a writer, Rob has the rights to tell his personal experience so long as he is not malicious.
I do not think he "overdo" it in his "More Worries section. We all make different decisions in life. Not all relationships eventually work out. ** Personally, I am Chinese, married only once, and am conservative**. But, I do not think it is right to judge others. If we should not judge Barbara's mother, we should not judge Rob as well.
# RE: More worriesRob 2010-09-02 15:24
When I started writing these stories I had a lot of discussions with fans about what to publish. I explained this in ‘answers to questions – Rob, why this website’. With these stories I want to give a truthful description of our relation as I remembered it. I would be deceiving myself (and the fans) if I left out stories because people cannot handle the truth. If I did that I would be describing a different Barbara, probably a Barbara as the fans would have liked her to be. I am afraid the fans are going to have to accept that the public Barbara in HK was a different Barbara from the one I knew. I also hope that thru my stories fans understand more why Barbara made certain choices in her life.

The only stories I am not publishing now are the stories that certainly are going to harm certain persons or their family (although my fingers are itching to publish).
# Pls remove this post!!!Jen 2011-11-04 08:16
Hi Rob, I know you only meant to tell Barbara's past and meant no harm. But I agree w/ a previous comment that I'm sure Barbara would not have appreciated this post at all even though she's not around. This is a public site, I am sure everything mention here will somehow go back to BY's mom or relatives or other loved ones and they rather this not be a public statement. I know it's 2011, but her relatives are elderly and conservative. If you love her, pls respect her relative/mom. How would you think they feel about this after learning this has became a public post. Yes, even if you did not say it, ppl may still have guessed just let them guess whatever they want. There is no need to post this.
# Re:Pls remove this post!!!Melanie 2011-11-04 22:47
How do you know that Barbara's mom and relatives are conservative?
Maybe after so many years, they are open-minded.
How do you know they will be offended? Maybe they are completely fine with it.It is what the reality was.
Do you think you have right to tell Rob to remove his post? Barbara was a human being.
If you can't stand it,just don't read it.
The real Barbara is not the one in the way you want. Please learn to respect other people.
# RE: More WorriesGuest 2010-09-02 16:11
Hi Rob - I completely agree with you. I see your website as a biography about Barbara, which gives us a more truthful prespective as to who she was, as long as there aren't any stories meant to tarnish anyone's reputation maliciously, which you have not. As for this post, we are living in 2010, and Barbara left us 30 years ago, I don't think this will tarnish her image at all, especially since most of her fans are in their 30s and 40s!

Thanks again for sharing all your stories, they also reminded me of my own teenage and early 20s years (I am 38) carefree, sweet, and happy!
# RE: More worries Guest 2010-09-02 16:12
Correction - I meant to say Barbara left us 25 years ago and your stories are from 30 years ago...
# In agreementGuest 2010-09-02 16:19
Rob-- I appreciate how candid you are about your relationship with Barbara. Yes, as a fan I am most interested in knowing the real Barbara and not what the media has portrayed her to be. Don't mean to be harsh but if folks are not ready for that, then this might not be site for you.
# RE: More worries Guest 2010-09-03 00:04
Hi Rob, U have done a wonderful job writing your stories. So far, there is NOTHING malicious nor derogatory to Barbara. Keep up the good work.
Note: I look forward to MORE stories. "MORE WORRIES section-Doctor visit" is not offensive to Barbara at all. She was a young girl in love. This kind of thing happens. For other readers who cannot take this, feel free to stop reading !!!!
# I appreciate itGuest 2010-09-03 02:13
Thank you Rob for sharing these precious memories with us. I appreciate Barbara's choose to love, so brave. It did a deep love. Please don't worry about some readers' worries. I believe if a true fan who will find Barbara even adorable. For the people who can not accept this, please just leave here. This is a true history, I feel so touched by it. I believe most of the fans have the same feelings with me.
# love her even moreGuest 2010-09-03 07:43
I am very happy to see that most of the fans here, have a very open minds. The reason why I leave such comment is just that I'm worried. That's all.

I love Barbara. And reading Rob's stories makes me love her even more. Just like I said, those were sad but cute, lovely, and romantic at the same time.

Do I want to know her more? Yes. Do I want to comeback for this site regularly? Big Yes. But for me, several things maybe better being left untold. This precious memory, i think, Barbara might want to keep it just for you both.

Again, I'm just saying. The rest, would be up to Rob. Waiting for another updates, another stories ;)
# more worriesGuest 2010-09-03 09:43
Thanks Rob. I enjoy to know every stories of Barbara. Will not change loving her.
# RE: More worries Guest 2010-09-03 16:01
Hi Rob, u mention about this - "The only stories I am not publishing now are the stories that certainly are going to harm certain persons or their family (although my fingers are itching to publish)".

I want to know this story even if it may be harm to some people, as you could post this story in a different section providing a link saying "WARNING THIS STORY MAY HARM SOME FANS, ONLY READ IF NOT OFFENDED" then put the date and year of when it happened on top of the story.

Rob this story was not offensive and as a Barbara fan myself I want to know more about the real life Barbara and Barbara fans that read this site should thank Rob and accept what he writes And remember this is a love story and a break up so I'm guessing these story will get ugly later on as argument, yelling screaming as most relationship break ups happen this way, even if this did happen I will still love Barbara and still be her biggest fan.
# RE: More worriesGuest 2010-09-03 16:57
no worries rob, this is real life and i dont see any rational and mature fans will get offended with what you wrote. for those who get offended only show that they like the barbara on stage not the real barbara. so dont worry!
and please keep telling us more. thanks alot!
# PLEASE READGuest 2010-09-03 22:23
Hi Rob,
Feel free to post your stories (good or bad). This is a real life experience.
We all have ups and downs. We should all love BARBARA, no matter what you post (as long as they are not malicious).
If Barbara has "shortcomings" in her character, it just make her "more human".
ALL READERS should respect Rob for his time and effort.
>> Love relationships usually broke off because there are issues. All Barbara fans should be mentally prepared in Rob's future stories, but please do not condemn Rob. This is his life experience.
Also, please do not think less of Barbara. She is a wonderful daughter and actress. Rob has given happiness to Barbara when she was coping with "chip & dip business" and college life.
** Rob has the right to post stories that may harm certain persons or their families** if they happen to be true stories and not malicious.
# RE: More worriesRob 2010-09-04 11:42
Barbara had some bad traumatic experiences in England. I should really tell these stories because it had a great influence on her character. But I also realize that if I publish these stories, I am going to damage the people involved. As Barbara has forgiven these people I feel at the moment I have no right to do that.

All I can tell the fans now is that behind that pretty and happy face of Barbara was a very troubled girl leading an emotionally difficult life.

I would appreciate it if fans are not going to guess on what these experiences are. This might spread rumors thru which people could be falsely accused.
# Barbara's traumatic experience in EnglandGuest 2010-09-04 14:58
Question for Rob.
1) Is it because of these "bad traumatic experiences in England" that cause Barbara to break up with you?

2) Did Barbara throw a lot of trantrums, emotional ups and downs during your dating life in England?
# RE: Barbara's traumatic experience in EnglandRob 2010-09-05 08:36
1. No
2. Barbara and I were very harmonious. We didn't have fights or arguments.
# RE: RE: Barbara's traumatic experience in EnglandGuest 2010-09-06 03:05
No fights or argument? That does not sound like a normal/healthy relationship.
# ThanksGuest 2010-09-05 06:52
# RE: More worries Guest 2010-09-05 16:38
1) Did Barbara break up with you?
2) Did you break up with her?
3) Or both of you decided to break up?

Thanks, Joanna
# RE: RE: More worriesRob 2010-09-05 19:49
It may sound strange but I don't really know the answer. When I finished the stories then you can decide for yourself.
# Couples who don't fight - It can happenGuest 2010-09-06 03:48
My oldest brother and sister-in-law are really very harmonious. They do not fight or argue. My brother loves his wife so much that he honors her all the time. It is not surprising. They have a very healthy and loving marriage.
He married her when he was 29, she was 19. They have 3 grown up kids and 4 grand children. They have been married over 35 years. I cannot imagine how my brother will cope if my sister-in-law pass away.
# Malicious?Guest 2010-09-13 06:27
I wonder why people say it is “malicious”. I recalled out of blue that Barbara told the reporters that she did not have any sex or cohabit with her foreigner boyfriend when they asked her about it.
# RE: Malicious?Guest 2010-09-13 13:22
Oh?So Is that true?Did Barbara ever told the reporters about that?Can you tell the sources or give the link?
# RE: More worries Guest 2010-09-13 08:15
No wonder. It explains why there was so much reaction here.
# RE: More worriesSH 2010-09-14 01:27
Years ago – between 1998- 2001, my mother told me after reading the biography of Barbara. The biography of Barbara belonged to my friend. Already returned it to her. Probably, you go to for more information. It’s a comprehensive website. So that’s how I recalled what Barbara said “no” to the reporters after they asked her whether she did it with her foreigner boyfriend. It’s commonly known that it is so common for Asian-foreigner BR, u see. I guess that she said “no” for fear of her mum getting to know about it and the showbiz career’s sake as well.
# RE: More worriesSH 2010-09-14 13:09
My mum told me that or one of those websites who wrote about it had disappeared for good or that biography book of Barbara. It has been years ago. I remembered vaguely which was the one. Sorry.
Please check that site at to see if she really said or not. Thks.
# thank Rob' sharing love storyGuest 2010-09-27 05:16
when i read this story, i can see you both love each other very much at that time. Sometime, i hope Barbara could marry you, then she must be still alive. However, i hope you could share more romantic to us.
# RE: More worries guest 2010-10-09 04:27
thanks for being honest. That's what i like about reading ur stories.
I must say I, like many people, would like to know what traumatic experiences occured in England that changed her character & in what way? Rather than just speculate, it would be nice to know the truth, without pointing fingers or naming names...
# pregnancygnol 2010-12-14 01:39
well if she was pregnant, maybe it would change everything, she would not go back to hong kong and still alive today as well.
# RE: More worries (1977)lois li 2011-01-04 15:26
the truth is this: because Barbara and kent lived in one building,actually their apartments were upstairs and downstairs. so the reporter asked Barbara:"you've been in England for many years. What is your opinion towards cohabitation?" Barbara said:" I am very traditional.I'm against cohabitation before marriage!" maybe she said that to keep up her image as a celebrity. we cannot just say barbara was not honest. every person on earth lies! what do you think,ROB?
# RE: RE: More worries (1977)Rob 2011-01-05 12:11
Lois Li,
I have two different answers.
1. She was telling the truth and did not have a sexual relation with Kent (kind of waiting for the the right guy to come along).
2. She was lying and saying what the public wanted to hear (I think that if my stories had been known in 1984 in HK, it would have ruined her career).
Knowing Barbara both answers could be right.
# RE: More worries (1977)lois li 2011-01-08 11:04
ROB,if barbara was really pregnant,what would be your choice at that time? would you marry her? or you wanted to escape from this relationship? please don't answer this question with "no ifs", I'd like to know what your thoughts were before you got the final result from the doctor?
# RE: More worries (1977)lois li 2011-01-08 11:08
HOW did you feel on knowing Barbara might get pregnant? Did you feel afraid?
# RE: More worries (1977)Religious 2011-01-24 12:10
Hi, why did you delete my question? Being chinese, it is important to know if she was virgin when you met her or not.
# RE: RE: More worries (1977)Rob 2011-01-24 12:30
The choice of words you used showed very little respect for women, that is why I removed the question. The answer may be important for you but I find it irrelevant.
# RE: RE: RE: More worries (1977)Religious 2011-01-24 12:35
Do you know that it may be a contributing factor to the breakup of her then boy friend in HK.
# RE: More worries (1977)hey 2011-01-24 15:32
Religious, do you not know that you are rude and tactless to ask this kind of question? U have to ask a tactful question. Rephrase it, Imagine, if you were me, i ask you a question like that : is your daughter a virgin when she met her boyfriend? Do you know that it may a contributing factor to the breakup of her then boyfriend in HK?

Do you like it? How do you feel when i asked you a similar question? My motive is to help you see it clearly why Rob said you showed very little respect for women.
# More worries (1977)love her 2011-01-26 14:43
Religious, does it matters now ? Everything is over and set. what's the point of asking such question ? that's a secret Barbara would like to bring with her. must u open the can of worms ? Don't bring in the Chinese concept, not all Chinese behave like u.
# RE: More worries (1977)Guest 2011-03-15 00:52
Rob - I like your website, but I have some real problems with this post. Since Barbara wanted to keep her visit to the clinic PRIVATE, you should have respected her enough to keep it private. Clearly, Barbara wanted her possible pregnancy a secret. Why don't you do the same? Even though Barbara has long passed, I cannot imagine that she would be pleased with you publicizing a shared moment between the two of you - a private one. No one else has the right to know.

Also, show some courtesy for her very traditional family. I have no doubt that your story has caused them serious embarrassment. They don't have much left, why would you take away from their memories of Barbara?

I wish you would remove this post.
# RE: RE: More worries (1977)Mei Ling Fan 2011-03-15 04:14
My goodness, you sound so immature with your comments. Please read ALL of Rob comments in this chapter.
# I agreeJen 2011-11-04 08:24
I agree with you that this post needs to remove, it is very disrespectful for Barbara's realtives and loved one.
# RE: More worries (1977)Guest 2011-03-15 00:59
I don't agree with kissing and telling. Although I enjoy your stories, I think this one went too far. No one's business except yours and Barbara's.
# RE: RE: More worries (1977)Mei Ling Fan 2011-03-15 02:50
If you disagree with this then may I suggest you better STOP at this chapter.
# Kissing & Clinic Visit not a big issueBystander/Reader 2011-03-15 03:44
Hi Guest,
If u cannot stand it,just don't read it.

This is Rob's life experience. So far, I don't think he has gone too far. This is year 2011, not 1970s'. We are Chinese, it doesn't mean that we have to act ancient!
# hi robpeter 2011-03-15 07:02
your website are so great

we do really want to know the reality of barbara ,character of barbara and all the truth behind that pretty and happy face of Barbara

# RE: More worries (1977)hey 2011-03-15 14:18
Hi Guest, you have to understand that the deceased release the rights to reveal the privacy life. Bruce Lee's wife did understand about it, too regarding Bruce Lee's privacy.

Life is a reality that we have to come terms with. Hope you get what i mean. Thanks.
# RE: More worries (1977)爱美玲 2011-04-13 02:29
hi Bob:

it's a biggeset net in this world about babara.
u can see all bout her.
hoep u like.
# RE: More worries (1977)Jade 2011-09-05 06:21
LOL these comments are hilarious! Who cares if Barbara was a virgin before Rob? This story doesn't even make Barbara look that bad at all. Yea, she had sex before marriage, but even if Rob didn't post this story, if you read all the rest of the stories, anyone with a brain would assume they were having sex anyways. There's nothing wrong with this story and I don't see why it would upset anyone because it's not making her sound cheap or anything.
# VirginsBystander 2011-09-06 00:11
Most girls have sex BEFORE marriage these days! The more scandal the female actress has, the higher paid she will be. Look at CECELIA CHEUNG. Time has changed. Who cares about virgins these days?
This does not mean that girls should be promiscous. At least that not what I think. But people have changed. What matters is how much income you generate!!
# RE: More worriesMelanie 2011-11-04 20:46

Just ignore some of the comments. Some people,especially some Chinese men are weird.They are talking about ancient Chinese doctrine.

It is very normal and common to date in high school in Europe and America.
When "In Rome,do what Romans do". We have to respect other people's life style.Some people just don't respect it but judge other people.

So,Rob, you have every right to post the reality on your website.
# Something unknown to me beforeWenhao 2011-11-10 13:30
Mr Rob, I should admit that it is my first time to know some details in this story. Barbara provided by the media was too perfect for Chinese tranditional culture. I think you provide a real person, a real Barbara, though this may cause some confict in we fans' mind. I always think that entertainment art is not suitable for Barbara, especially her characters and life style. It is not a good choice for her. Do you agree with that, Rob?
# Rob a personal msgAlfonso 2011-12-30 17:50
Respect & care are all the true BY- Fans can show. If ever a comment or question don't make you comfortable. I can assure you Barbara & the true BY- Fans feel the same. Therefore, ignore them.
# Thai fan in CanadaRed Robin 2012-01-01 18:27
I think this is very important part of the story to reveal Barbara's real dream. She always wanted to have a happy family, husband and children. Real fans all grow up and being mature. This is also a part of real Barbara that no one could take it as disrespect to her. We still love her and even more.
# San Francisco bay area fancarol 2012-05-25 01:15
Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful memories of Barbara with us. I'm 35 yrs old now and just recently happened to watch her on youtube. It brings back sweet memories of watching her on TV with my family when I was little. I still remember all her cute facial expressions.
# GET REALneutral PRO TRUTH 2013-06-23 21:43
"LOL these comments are hilarious! Who cares if Barbara was a virgin before Rob?" Well said. Those people are still living in caves. "Religious", you should read the bible as stated. Men had got dozens of wives and Jesus was helping Magdalena without prejudices. The main point is: Life isn't perfect. We all have our faults and mistakes. Be realistic and learn from it. That way you will break the circle! DON'T JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE cause You simply don't have the rights to unless you are flawless. The funny thing is: By the time you are achieving purity you wouldnot even think of judging. Barbara had gone and if her story could even help one soul in the future it would be much appreciated. How harsh the truth may be...Rob has got his rights to share his story. Barbara's relatives are able to respond if they like to. If both sides are sincere and brave enough the outcome would be healing their own wounds. [Please people, be human again and leave your "FACE" in the church]
# 00miss 2013-11-04 08:11
Very sweet❤
# My 2 centsCoco 2014-01-26 20:01
Thank u so much Rob for ur selfless effort and deification of creating this site for everyone. I just found this site (I know I am late lol) and quickly gotten attached to your romantic story with Barbara. I am too a fan of Barbara bc like others, I've watched her and idolized her when I was a young girl. I agree this post is on the personal side but it does tells us that u both were intimate and maybe u wanted to share that too. It does not ruin her image to me at all. I mean not meaning to sound untraditional but to this day I don't think I know anyone that waited till they got married. So that being, there are no need to over react to this post and trying to emphasize ur innocence. Get over it. If Rob wanted to share, except it. A lot of couples been thru this before marriage. And honest truth is...everything happens for a reason. If Barbara & Rob stayed together...we prob would have never known who BY was bc she prob wouldn't have went to HK and got famous.
# RE: 16. More worries (1977)Coco 2014-01-26 20:02
I meant dedication lol.
# Re:more worriesPeter 2014-12-04 10:29
i am barbara's fan,i like her very much ,i donot think this will effect her image ,we should understand her living circumstances and cultures.from what she said ,she urgently needed family life ,this is real barbara,how much i wished she would be pre just then,which may lead to different results.although her mom and uncles loved her ,butdidnot take much attention to child's inner feeling,this is what most chinese peple did .from barbara's experience,hope more parents could pay attention to children's inner feeling.
# RE: 16. More worries (1977)Josephine 2017-06-01 15:49
I don't know why, when I read this post, I felt so satisfied. To me, love without sex seems a bit imperfect. I personally think sexual relationship had brought completeness to your relationship with Barbara.

To be honest, I have no worries about how Barbara's family may feel after reading this post. They may feel the same positive way as I do. Who knows? What I worry more is how your wife feels. (If you don't mind, please share with me)

BTW, I am a Chinese.
# RE: 16. More worries (1977)Rob 2017-06-02 11:08
My wife doesn't care about this. It is about my life before I met her.
# RE: 16. More worries (1977)serious attitude 2018-12-14 15:05
hi,Rob.tks for your effort and in here we obtain much than than before.
you don't know about Chinese tradition and its culture and thoughts,I wish I won't offend you when we talk about these.
in1980s ,the entertainment of our life in HK is still conservative.
Kent loved Barbara deeply, but he minded Barbara's past.he love her so deeply that he want to possess all of her.but when he find her loss of virginity which you took to Barbara.
Kent is not a western man and focused on these.he hesitated to marry with Barbara and lost her.Barbara loved Kent deeply and she want to get marry they had conflict each others.Barbara won't suicide and she believed she could get up ...but...she lost her by herself accidentally.

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