When Barbara came back from her Hong Kong holiday she hadn't changed her hairstyle. The hairdressers in Hong Honk had advised her to keep her hair as it was and not to curl it. She had nice healthy hair; it would be a shame to give it treatments which would damage it. I was relieved that Barbara followed this advice, I liked Barbara's hair as it was.

The university let me know that if I missed any more lectures and compulsory practicals they were going to expel me. This meant that I couldn't see Barbara any more during the week. It was quite a shock to us as we also had lost our meeting place in Cambridge. A little while ago Steve and Di split up and both of them had moved to another place. Suddenly we only could see each other only on Friday evening and Saturday morning, while we were used in seeing each other nearly every day.

We reacted completely different to this new situation. I suddenly found myself with an enormous amount of spare time. Within a few weeks I found a new allocation for all this time. I discovered that there was a student social life in Norwich which I hadn't experienced yet and it suited me very well. Being on a campus of a university with about 3000 people between the age of 18 and 22, with great sport facilities, gave me an enormous energy. I went to popconcerts, I tried to stay awake during the all night cinema marathons and watched the plays performed by the student acting society. Soon I had build up a social life existing within the new art-cultures, making music and participating in competitive sports. I only came to my room to sleep.

I got selected for the university volleyball and athletic team and also for the county volleyball team. At the last re-union of the University a few years ago I saw that my picture was still hanging in their hall of fame. Being selected for the university sport teams meant that we had matches against other universities nearly every weekend. The university arranged and paid for the journeys and the hotels we stayed in. Being with a team, meeting other university teams, who did their best to be good hosts (plenty of food and drinks) made these weekends' great experiences and fantastic fun. Mostly I leave on Saturday afternoon and came back exhausted early Monday morning. The climax must have been the British student athletics championships in Edinburg for which I had qualified.

Barbara reacted completely different. Her life didn't change. She went to college, worked by Burger King and sat alone in her room. Barbara didn't want to change her life or expand her social life. As the weeks passed she became more and more lonely. One time she told me that one evening she didn't want to sit in her room and went to the discotheques on Leicester square where we always went. She just to sat there and listened to the music. Every week that passed Barbara became more and more unhappy, she didn't say much anymore, she was tired and complained about headaches. Her sparkle and laugh had gone and her sadness in-creased. After a few weeks Barbara didn't want to come to Norwich anymore.

At this time we were the two opposites in how we filled in our life. I was full of energy, wanting to do things, feeling good, Barbara was the complete opposite. We didn't argue or have heated discussions but we didn't laugh anymore either. We both knew that this way our relation was not going to last long. We had do something before it would be too late. Therefore we decided that I was going come to London the week before the Easter holiday to stay with Barbara. Then we would have a week together to work on a solution to improve our relation.






我被选入大学排球队和田径队,进而进入镇排球队。几年前的大学同学聚会,我看到我的照片仍挂在名誉厅的墙上。进入校队意味着我们几乎每周末都会和其他学校比赛。学校会安排并负责食宿。 和不同学校校队交流,其他学校的热情招待(很好的食物和饮料)令这些周末成为愉快的经历。通常我周六离开周一上午精疲力尽地回校。最忙的时候是在爱丁堡举办的全英学生运动会,我那时入围参加了比赛。

Barbara的情况完全不同。她的生活没有改变。她去上学,去汉堡王打工,独自呆在房间里。她不想改变她的生活或是去打开她的社交圈子。几个星期过去了,她变得越来越孤独。她告诉我一个晚上她不想待在家里,她就去了那个我们常去的莱斯特广场(Leicester square)附近的Disco. 她只是坐在里面听音乐。几个星期过去了,她变得越来越不开心,话也不多说。 她很累,并抱怨头痛。她的光芒和她的笑声一起消失了,她的悲伤却增加了。又过了几个星期,她不再想到Norwich来了。我们都知道这样下去我们的关系是无法维持多久的。我们必须在事情变得不可挽回之前做些努力。因此我们决定在复活节前一周我到伦敦和Barbara一起。这样我们有一周的时间一起找一找解决问题的方法。


(Thanks to Natalie for the translation)

1980 things were changing1


1980 sad



# RE: ChangesWinky 2011-03-30 13:45
Ah that's sad... I think Barbara is the type of person who needs stability in her life. I think it was quite a big shock to her that she could only see you on friday and a bit on saturday. Rob, did she not made any friends in London? and before she met you didn't she had friends where she lived? or was she so busy with working in the fish and chips shop?
# RE: ChangesMei Ling Fan 2011-03-30 14:36
Looking at this sad picture of Barbara and of her being lonely makes me sad and want to cry. :sad:

From the close up of this picture Barbara's hair texture looks nice and smooth.
# RE: ChangesBarfan 2011-06-03 09:27
so here it comes :sad: is it change in situations? is it difference in characters? or is it simply fate?
# why did you love barbara?carol.huang 2011-06-05 08:02
:D after reading your stories about barbara. I knew about a different herself . I think you were really love her . now, I hate tangzhenye and barbara'mom.
why did you love barbara? And why did she love you?

her&your fan
# RE: Changes 改变 1980thup 2012-09-20 23:22
i think this was the beginning of ... all the problem between you two. you should have understood that asian are less likely to socialize and they like to stay with only limited people.. i am eager to read your next stories..
# 遗憾yinyin 2012-09-23 08:18
# MissWenchin 2013-03-11 09:19
Hello Rob,
Thank you soo much for putting efforts to show us how Barbara lived,laughed and loved decades ago. I want to let you know how much I appreciate your priceless memoir of this sweet,beautiful and sparkling girl. It certainly is a huge shame that Barbara died at such a young age.I was born in the 90s and my parents would sometimes talk about TVs starring this pretty lady, and that's the way I heard of Barbara Yung. Before reading your memories of her, I would never imagine how her teenager hood would used to be like. Thank you again. And I hope everything is going well with your family :-)
# fr HKPoey 2015-10-24 20:29
I understand Barbara cos I'm somehow a same kind of person as she. i committed suicide many time when I was her age.

A big gap between you & her is how you put your priorities of love. You were a whole world and only meaning of life to her vs Love is only a part of your life.
# RE: fr HKSam Lau 2020-12-22 06:33
Quoting Poey:
I understand Barbara cos I'm somehow a same kind of person as she. i committed suicide many time when I was her age.

A big gap between you & her is how you put your priorities of love. You were a whole world and only meaning of life to her vs Love is only a part of your life.

Definately nail on the head but it is diffcult at the stage of life when you have so many things to expereince...

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