Of course did I write Barbara another letter, this time an emotional one, and of course did Barbara come to see me after she received that letter. This was obvious, from the moment she walked into that hospital ward, the sparkle between us was still there and we both felt it immediately.

When we were together we didn't talk much about our future or what we had done during the time we were separated. We were just enjoying the present moments. That made these moments intens and passionate. But also those obsessive moments of waiting came back again. Waiting for the moment to see each other again or the walking to the porters lodge every day hoping that there was another letter or that waiting for when Barbara would be in her room in London so that I could call her by phone (I didn't have a phone, therefore she could not call me).

And poor Witsi, she didn't have a chance. After meeting Barbara again, Barbara was the only thing on my mind. Witsi was just put aside. The first time Barbara came to visit me for in my student flat, Witsi just walked in. She looked at Barbara then looked at me, turned round and left the room without saying a word. All what Barbara said was: "Is that your girlfriend? She is pretty; she looks like a nice girl". That was the only thing Barbara ever said about Witsi, she never asked about her again. I guess that she assumed that I would finish that relation im-mediately, which I did. I explained to Witsi the situation and she said she understood. The times that I did see her afterwards (Witsi lived in the next corridor) she was still kind to me.

Barbara and I had both filled in our lives in our own way during our separation and now this relation had to fit in. This was quite a challenge. Barbara had a job on Friday evening and in the weekends she still helped the family out in the Fish and Chip shop. Barbara didn't tell her mother we were together again, so she had to find excuses to come and see me. As my leg still wasn't recovered I couldn't come to London, I could hardly walk.

There were going to be some more operations on my leg. As I didn't have Witsi to take care for me anymore and Barbara didn't have the time, I went back to my parents for quite a long time to revalidate. We kept in contact by writing letters and by telephone. Barbara found an empty office at her college with a phone that was still connected. She phoned me from there, which made life a lot cheaper. I wonder if the school ever found out that the telephone bill was significantly higher in that period.

And of course the final exams were coming. This was another reason why we couldn't see each other that often. We weren't stressed out about not seeing each other as much as we wanted; just the thought of being together again seemed to keep us going.

We never had written letters to each other before, this was an new experience which we both enjoyed. I hope one day that I find the letters Barbara wrote me. I looked everywhere, but I am afraid that they got lost during the years. I wonder if Barbara kept my letters.

1981 posing in room



可怜的Witsi完全没有机会了。再见到Barbara后,我的注意力就只在她身上了。Barbara第一次到我的学生公寓的时候正巧Witsi走进来,她看了看Barbara又看了看我,转身走了出去,一句话也没有说。而Barbara只说了句,"那是你女朋友啊?挺漂亮的,看起来是个不错的女孩。" 这是Barbara唯一的一次提到Witsi,她从来没有再问起过她。我猜Barbara觉得我马上就结束了那段关系了。事实上我也是这样做的。我把情况和Witsi解释了,她说她理解。之后我再见到她,她对我也很友善(她住在隔壁走廊)。






(Thanks to Natalie for the translation)


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