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Hereby I have finished my stories. I have told the stories I wanted to tell and I have shown the pictures I wanted to show. Of course I have many more memories of Barbara but they are too private to share on this website.

I rather would have exchanged the stories and pictures just with Barbara herself. We probably would conclude that the decision to break up in 1981 was a wise decision. But now, knowing more about Barbara's life after 1981, I am not so sure anymore.

It was nice going back thirty years, back to those intense and often happy years of my life. I also enjoyed the many contacts I had with the fans, either by the guestbook or by mail. These people made me much wiser.

I had many discussions. Some people were angry about what I did, others encouraged me to continue writing. Of course were there discussions about Barbara's suicide and about the role of Kent in her life. Also have I been told about a lot of other interesting topics like life in Hong Kong, the acting business, discrimination, Asian religion, the life of first and second generation immigrants, I even had my face read (she was 80% right ) and one fan gave birth to twins during our period that we mailed.

Some people recognized parts of their own life in my stories. They told me about their very personal life. With their permission I am publishing these stories on this website. These stories will give a better impression of what Barbara's life was like in England. The type of pressure she had to deal with and what kind of decisions she had to make. I hope that others who are in the same situation or had similar experiences can learn or be comforted by these stories.

I have been told about Barbara's life in Hong Kong. Her acting career, her private life and her suicide attempts. It was a difficult story for me to understand. A girl I knew so well was portrayed on the internet as person I didn't recognize any more. People have been very helpful in finding the answers to the questions I had. Nearly all my questions have been answered except one.

On the night that Barbara died, the last words she wrote were:
'Darling, I love you'
Why did she write these words in English?

Thank you for visiting this website,

Rob

1981 posing with hands in hair

最后一个问题

到此我的故事结束了。我讲完了我想讲的故事,展示了我想展示的照片。当然我还有许多Barbara的记忆,作为更私人的回忆,我就不在这网站上分享了。

能够回望30年前那些热烈的,经常是幸福的日子,我感到很开心。我也很喜欢和影迷们通过留言板和邮件沟通。这些人们令我能够更智慧。

我们做了许多讨论。有人对我的所为很生气,也有人鼓励我继续写作。当然也有讨论Barbara的自杀以及Kent在她人生中的所承担的角色。我也了解了许多其它有趣的话题,比如香港的生活,娱乐圈,歧视,亚洲宗教,第一代和第二代移民生活。甚至还有人替我看了面相 (80%说对了) 。在我和一个影迷的通信期间,她告诉我她的双胞胎出生了。

也有些人在我的故事里看到他们自己的经历,也告诉我他们自己的故事。经他们同意后我也把这些故事放在网上了。这些故事可以折射出Barbara在英国时的生活,她所面对的压力,以及她必须做的决定。我希望那些面临同样情况,或是有过同样经历的人们可以从这些故事中有所悟,或是能得到些慰籍。

我听说了Barbara在香港的生活,她的演艺生涯,她的个人生活以及她的几次自杀尝试。对我而言这个故事很难理解。那个我如此了解的女孩,在网上被描述成一个我不再认识的人。人们帮助我找到我的问题的答案。几乎我所有的问题都得到了回答,但是还有一个问题无人能回答我:

在Barbara死去的那一晚,她最后写下的文字:
"Darling, I love you"
她为什么用英文写了这句话呢?

谢谢你们来这个网站。

Rob.

 

(thanks to Natalie for the translation)

 

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Virgil Van Dijk
2 months ago
I can't imagine how romantic you are. Even after so many years, you still care if she says I love you in the end! She has only been with you for 5 years but has left a lasting impression on you for a lifetime. The same goes for us Chinese people. Her 5 years in Hong Kong have left a lasting impression on all Chinese people! I am an 18-year-old Chinese, and you may not know how famous Yung Meiling is in China. Now let me tell you:She is a childhood memory of my parents' generation. You know, there were over 800 million people in that generation in China, and everyone still remembers her vividly. This is unimaginable, and it can be said that no Chinese actor has ever achieved it! When I was young, it was in 2008. My mother watched her famous work "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" every day, and even my memories of this segment were fresh in my memory. Later, I found out that it was her tenth time watching it (from 1983 to 1989, she watched it every year, and then watched it three more times, each time fully). This is a story written by the famous Hong Kong martial arts novelist Jin Yong, which is extremely classic and has since been remade countless times (with many famous Chinese actors). However, in the hearts of all Chinese people, Weng Meiling is the only Huang Rong, and no one can replace her! My mother told me that the premiere time in China was every Saturday night at 8 o'clock, with countless people and huge city streets, but no one walked around! Everyone is watching her TV drama! As you said, she acted with her true colors, which is exactly her personality. However, such a personality has shaped her and also caused her tragedy! Afterwards, my mother and I watched the TV drama we watched during the COVID-19 pandemic in China in 2020. We were indeed doing nothing at home (lockdown), and my mother happened to see some videos about her on her phone. So she watched the Legend of the Condor Heroes again, which was her 12th time watching it. We watched it together, although the picture quality seemed very poor at the time! But Weng Meiling is indeed stunning, not only because of her beauty, but also because of her personality, which is truly unforgettable! Recently, I accidentally saw some videos of The Legend of the Condor Heroes, so I watched this TV series for the second time! It's hard to explain this feeling. I have never had the motivation or desire to watch a certain TV drama twice, but this time I only saw a 2-minute short video, and I had the urge to watch it again. It's really beyond the reach of any other TV series! But every time I think of Weng Meiling, who has been dead for almost 40 years, my nose keeps getting sore and I feel very sad. I don't know why, but when I was born in 2005, Weng Meiling had already passed away for 20 years. We had no interaction, the only interaction was that TV drama, which left a deep impression on me and made me truly sorry for her. Otherwise, I would not have discovered this website and the story behind it. I really like her personality, her role in the TV series is just too cute! I am writing to you today because I found myself once again immersed in regret for her (last time in 2020), so I want to express it! And I also marvel at how she used her 5-year career in Hong Kong to move two generations of Chinese people (I am the third generation) with just over a dozen TV dramas. That's 1.5 billion people, and I'm sure that that group of Chinese people still remember her vividly and feel sorry for her! Almost everyone in my parents' generation would tell their children the story of Weng Meiling, and they all felt sorry for her. Her influence in China is far beyond your imagination! As I said, no actor has passed away for 40 years, but many young people like me in the new era sigh for her! And the only way we can get to know her is through her parents' memories! There is a Chinese proverb: Death is inherent in all human beings, either heavier than Mount Tai or lighter than a feather. Her value is unimaginable,She is not perfect (otherwise she wouldn't have committed suicide), but it is incredible that she will always live in the hearts of Chinese people!

I really hope you can watch the TV series she starred in, which may be different from what you imagine. I know there may not be an English version, but you can first read the novel "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" written by Jin Yong (with an English version), so that you can understand the story better. I have only watched her one TV drama so far, and I don't want to continue watching it now because she only has a dozen or so. I don't want to lose it after watching it. I want to watch it slowly in my future life, and I hope you can understand the feeling behind it! I hope you can publish your memoirs about Weng Meiling as soon as possible, after all, perhaps only you know that story! I wrote in a hurry today because I still have to prepare for the Chinese college entrance examination, but I still have many memories with Weng Meiling (which sounds strange, but is actually about my parents' description and my own opinion). I hope to contact you again in the future!

Thank you for reading this far! Wishing you a happy life! Goodbye!(Weng Meiling=Barbara Yung
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Liao
2 years ago
Suicide wasnt in her mind. I think she is pretty sure Kent will come. Kent also did not reveal all what had happened. He might had answered her call and reply her and ask her go die ahead. We will never know.

She might told him that to come her hou by 12 midnight or else he wont see her by the next morning. He dont believe that she will kill herself.

Does Kent know she had suicide attempt? If he know, he is damn bastard.

She love Kent a lot base on Stephen account. He wanted her to be his gf but she dont want. She just want Kent. She was with Stephen just want to make kent jealous.

Kent is just too handsome and charismatic. All girls like him during his prime. He can be good husband if he decide to marry.

Yung wanted to marry but Kent wasnt interested as e is young and he wanted to play around. During her generation, once woman wanted to marry to her bf badly which mean they have intimacy together.

In summary, it is just a poor pair up that lead her into misery. Kent is just a playboy. Yung is more to a tradition woman who wanted to marry down and want stable family and kids.
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Q
2 years ago
为什么用英文写呢?英文的笔迹更不好鉴定吧!
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Zheng
2 years ago
good bless to Barbara!
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Sam Lau
3 years ago
Thank you Rob for these beautiful memories and stories of Babara's early life, I think you should be grateful and from the sound of it, it must be one of IF not the happiest moment of her life.

Nothing last forever but love and memories will always be in our heart.
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Robin
3 years ago
Thanks Rob, thanks.
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mary
3 years ago
thank you for sharing the love story and the pictures; humanity is very complicated, the young Chinese woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets; but she really had a good time with Rob, the good old days with bright vivid colour
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Adeline
4 years ago
I am just wondering does it really matter whether Barbara’s last words are for Rob? Anyway I think Barbara fans should care more about how the true Barbara is like. And it is already very kind of Rob to share his stories.
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older and older
5 years ago
waiting for your book 8)
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83射雕最好
5 years ago
好象最后和汤己经分手,汤应该没钥匙了。个人看法。
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4
zz
5 years ago
ttp://www.barbarayung.net/visit/visit046.htm
这里有翁美玲1983年在欧洲演出的照片和叙述
那时她没有联络Rob.
she had her new life and put the past into history
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ABC
5 years ago
Quoting 321:
Quoting Susan:
The last sentence:"Darling I love you." I think it was wrote to her boyfriend at that time--Kent. Don't you know that in Hongkong people use english very often, this simply english everyone can understand. And babara's english was so good, sometimes she wanted to express her feeling in english, that was quite normal, she just wrote down the words in her mind at that moment.

你错了,对汤没必要用英语。想说给rob又怕人知道,只能暗语,rob能懂。读完故事我们也能懂。You're wrong. There's no need to use English for soup. Barbara wanted to tell Rob that she was afraid of being known. She could only speak in secret. Rob could understand. After reading the story, we can understand it.

怎么可能是给ROB的?写在日历台上除了当时汤有翁家里的钥匙外,没有别人了,想给ROB直接打电话给他不就行了,写在日历台上ROB一辈子都不可能看到,你别一厢情愿了。你不会就是那个森焱吧?
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83射雕最好
5 years ago
Fairchild是汤镇业的粉丝。处处替他说话。rob别听他的,他很不公正。汤镇业从来不告诉大家故事。
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Fairchild
5 years ago
I just happened to see this comment. For your info, I'm not a Kent's fan. My arguments are all based on facts. I don't normally respond to this type of irrational comment, but telling Rob not to listen to me? What is it, are you denouncing me? Is it what you do when people don't share the same ideology with you? It's very uncivilised if you don't mind me saying so.
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Susan
5 years ago
The last sentence:"Darling I love you." I think it was wrote to her boyfriend at that time--Kent. Don't you know that in Hongkong people use english very often, this simply english everyone can understand. And babara's english was so good, sometimes she wanted to express her feeling in english, that was quite normal, she just wrote down the words in her mind at that moment.
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321
5 years ago
Quoting Susan:
The last sentence:"Darling I love you." I think it was wrote to her boyfriend at that time--Kent. Don't you know that in Hongkong people use english very often, this simply english everyone can understand. And babara's english was so good, sometimes she wanted to express her feeling in english, that was quite normal, she just wrote down the words in her mind at that moment.

你错了,对汤没必要用英语。想说给rob又怕人知道,只能暗语,rob能懂。读完故事我们也能懂。You're wrong. There's no need to use English for soup. Barbara wanted to tell Rob that she was afraid of being known. She could only speak in secret. Rob could understand. After reading the story, we can understand it.
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Kevin
5 years ago
Legend of The Condor Heroes is my favoriate film when I was a kid. Barbara left a deep impression on me, even after all these years she still living in my heart.
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江南菜仔
5 years ago
1985年我才3岁。怀念从前。
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江南菜仔
5 years ago
怀念从前。1985年我才3岁。 :roll:
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Wang Ying
5 years ago
I read these memories written for her two years ago when I really felt low and was not in good condition . My situation is more compicated because we are not students and have to perform the obligation to each other's family . To fall in love with different nationality is not easy to forget because the culture is different and many fresh behaviors or reactions will give me a deep expression . I am waiting nervously for another chance of my career and I need his support from mindset so today still I think that she never forget you . I'm really happy to receive notification about the discussions from other people after two years .
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jiang
6 years ago
谢谢。想你却为事俗牵挂,无法找你。爱你却被怒气所伤,先走一步。只有写下Darling, I love you,真心是这样,其他无言正如那时所作所为。
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Mike Garcia
6 years ago
Thank you very much for sharing this stories, i recently just watched Legend od the condor heroes and I became a huge fan of Barbara, so your stories just made me know her more and discover the person behind the legend
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Jackie
6 years ago
It's not important of the answer of this question.

The importance is that Rob, you still love her. You Still remember her. And We still love her. We still Remember her.

We are old. But she is always 26 years in our heart.
thanks for your sharing.
and thanks for her beautiful sentence left in the world.
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awning
7 years ago
如果你们结婚了,她就不会成为香港明星,我们也就不可能认识她,也不会追寻她的足迹到这个网站。冥冥之中自有注定!感谢你的分享,谢谢!thx for your share!
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Dewei Du
7 years ago
翁美玲一直挂念荷兰前男友,久久不能释怀;对汤镇业的呵护备至只有感激之情,没有爱情;逝世前在新加坡占卜与男友已缘尽,使翁美玲万念俱灰;在1985年5月13日晚上与汤镇业吵架后,终于爆煲,郁郁地走上自杀的不归路。自杀当晚打出的其中一个电话是打给远在他方的荷兰前男友,在日历上写上的“Darling I Love You”也是写给他的。

From WIKI
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zilian
7 years ago
Quoting Dewei Du:
翁美玲一直挂念荷兰前男友,久久不能释怀;对汤镇业的呵护备至只有感激之情,没有爱情;逝世前在新加坡占卜与男友已缘尽,使翁美玲万念俱灰;在1985年5月13日晚上与汤镇业吵架后,终于爆煲,郁郁地走上自杀的不归路。自杀当晚打出的其中一个电话是打给远在他方的荷兰前男友,在日历上写上的“Darling I Love You”也是写给他的。

From WIKI

这个是错误的,当晚阿翁没有打过国际电话
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CSL
7 years ago
An interview with Kent talking about Barbara some years ago.

http://www.epochtimes.com/b5/1/7/24/n112486.htm
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hesenlee
7 years ago
不管最后那句话是对谁说的,我想翁美玲跟Rob在一起的那些日子是最难忘的!更是最快乐的时光!
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fukada
7 years ago
其实我们男人有一种喜欢高估自己在前女友心里的地位。懂中文的朋友可以看下这篇文章。女同志请进,女孩都忘不了自己的第一个男人吗?http://bbs.tianya.cn/post-funinfo-3012043-1.shtml
这位荷兰朋友,你其实也可以问下你现在的妻子,就是你的女友,是否还会经常想起自己和初恋或她的前男友,如果是的话,那我只能为你的爱情默哀三分钟了。
英语不好,但我明白rob肯定能知道我在说什么,只要他想知道。
PS,能把回复修改的简单些吗?居然还有拼图游戏,
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Wang Ying
7 years ago
Hi , I also think that the last English words are for you , Kent is Chinese , the best way to express her love is Chinese if the one she meant was him , even everybody knows "I love you" .The person I like and me are the similar situation , but more difficult , our religion is totally differemt , he speak Arabic , I speak Chinese , if without English we are like duck and chiken . Therefore if he post something , if it's English , I know it must be for me , it's like a code only between he and me . Because he was older 15 years old than me a(I am 27)nd has a nice family . We ended this pure passion (no relation) , but when we see each other again , the feeling comes back and never change . So , keep this memory in mind ...
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满心蓉儿
8 years ago
Rob:谢谢你能记得和barbara这么多的故事,曾经我一直不明白barbara为何会走上这样一条路,你的故事让我深刻了解了她的内心,她是一个害怕孤独却又偏偏孤独的人,她想要拼命抓住的爱却总是让她感觉力不从心,好累好累,她是被她自己的内心打败,所以她最后的那句darling,I love you forever是在问我每每这么真心的爱人,哪个又能如此真心的回报我,放我在心间
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C.C.
8 years ago
Hi Rob, Thank you for sharing your personal stories, it is much appreciated.
I still remember the day when I first watched the Legend of Condor Heroes at age of 5, I had a huge crush and was instantly a fan of her. It was very hard for me to find out when she committed suicide. I had to force myself not to think of her or read, watch anything related to her, thus I could move on. Now I'm in my 30s and stumbled onto your site and I'm pleasantly surprised to learn about her of her early life. This brings back memories... Memories of the days sitting by the TV impatiently waiting for the her show to start...Memories of the days that I was sad and empty when the show's over....Memories of the days that I wanted to see more of her and the days talking with friends about her over and over.
Now I realized that she's always there and never left no matter how much I've tried. I will always remember her for being a part of my life.
Thanks,
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SNITA
8 years ago
I understand you and Brabara situation at that time. My life and some one I love so much was also like you. We separate on 5 Jan 2010 ( we had a relationship from 2006 and separated in 2010). Now, he already got his girlfriend and have a happy life. I feel very sad in the first time but now I'm ok and feel happy with him (he met the good woman in his life). But I could not have any relationship at all. It seem like I stuck. I try to find the answers but I don't know what was the reason. I try to keep my life go on. I have a good job, and not bad quality of life but it 's seem I could not love anyone at all. I try to keep moving and try to happy with the present as much as I can.

Have a cheerful day.

Everyone has a story.

SNITA
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Rob
8 years ago
Thank for your personal reaction, if you need someone to talk about it, you can always mail me (hotmail of Facebook)
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curious
8 years ago
Dear rob, i think you misunderstand my question totally.

What was Barbara actually to you?
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Rob
8 years ago
oh sorry, I misread your question.

She used to be a girl I was very much in love with and at that time I was prepared to offer anything to be with her.

Now, she is just a happy memory.
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curious
8 years ago
Hi Rob,

May i ask you a question: What does Barbara actually mean to you? Thanks.
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Rob
8 years ago
I never saw Barbara being mean, to me or anybody else. I don´t think I was part of her character.
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Guest
8 years ago
We will always love and miss you Mei Ling
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Vin
8 years ago
昨天因為工作不順利在家自殺 被老母攔下 我在網路上看到"阿翁"的冰櫃照便抓下來存在手機裡跟媽媽爸爸說妳們就想看我這樣(因為我家有家暴問題 我不識阿翁 當我剛剛想振作時開了手機圖片檔欲刪昨天的冰櫃照 突然對她好奇了 科譜好久 最後來到這 決定留言 我發現我看過她的視頻!!原來是她啊。。從來沒想過搜尋她 好微妙的感覺。。。。。。
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ZENGSUNQIANG
8 years ago
在Barbara死去的那一晚,她最后写下的文字:
"Darling, I love you"
她为什么用英文写了这句话呢?

我也來回答這個問題吧,翁美玲是寫給Rob你的。翁美玲跟湯鎮業大吵一架然後自殺,用英文留下的遺言(如果這遺言是真的),不可能是對湯鎮業說的。一個男人把女人氣得悲痛欲絕,到了死亡境地,臨死時會對那男人說 I love you,你相信嗎?網上那篇“翁美玲自殺時的心境和真實關况”分析得十分到位,她生命中最愛的是Rob,至死不忘。在她生命中最美好的時刻,Rob帶給她的體驗太深刻了。翁美玲對湯鎮業始終愛不起來,只是有點感激而已。湯鎮業對翁美玲也不是真愛。雙方對對方都不滿,貌合神離。命運令兩人糾纏在一起,搞得大家都身心破碎,黯然神傷。翁美玲外表爭強好勝,心靈卻脆弱得可怕,湯鎮業哪有一絲一毫了解她?Rob了解翁美玲,也曾經愛過她,但這人具“大智大慧”,與翁美玲分手後,很快把她“灑脫”地忘記了,開始了自己的生活,遇上另一段真愛,生了孩子,幸福美滿。老實說,Rob對翁美玲的死有不可推卸的責任。兩人分手後,明知翁美玲的生命脆弱如花,沒有盡到一絲一毫的保護責任,最終在狂風暴雨中香消玉殞。翁美玲臨死前想什麽呢,如果時光可以倒流,她應該還是想和Rob在一起,長相厮守。因為這個願望永遠無法達成了,悲痛之下,義無反顧,親手結束了自己的生命。不應該怪Rob什麽,但他應該買塊豆腐一頭撞死。男女相愛,轟轟烈烈,欲仙欲死,因為年輕,所以愛得深沉浪漫,驚天地泣鬼神,有衝突時卻不能用理智去解決,很容易釀成悲劇。Rob和翁美玲,如果當時Rob年長八至十歲,兩人的命運恐怕會完全不同。同樣,如果給翁美玲多幾年生命,她一定能處理好和湯鎮業的關係,不至於衝擊自殺。原諒我寫下這段只有猜測沒有實據的說話。翁美玲去世30年了,她依然活在我心中,永不褪色。每天我還在光影中尋找真實的翁美玲,我知道永遠找不到的。她演的黃蓉,像從書中走出來,不夠漂亮,但靈氣逼人,這是一個美好的夢。她的歌聲也很好聽,像未開發的始女地。無論何時何地,聽到射鵰的音樂,想到這個薄命如斯的女子,忍不住悲從中來,淚如泉涌。如果我有能力,好想寫一部《劍橋之戀》,但這部小說作者最佳人選是Rob。
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iafmw
8 years ago
絕對是寫給kent的,不可能寫給rob ,翁美玲最後call給kent說,如不覆機將永遠聽不到她的聲音,她至死都愛kent,和rob分手好多年了,有必要還寫給他嗎?她寫了這些話,遠在荷蘭的rob能知道?當時能進翁美玲房間的人除了她自己以外,就只有kent了,所以肯定是寫給kent的。要是真寫給rob還不如打個電話給他更方便。
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钟爱翁美玲
8 years ago
Chinese media reports that Barbara had no true friends, the last moment she seemed very lonely, she thought of the own unforgettable first love. I think the last sentence in English is for you.
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iafmw
8 years ago
肯定是写给kent的,这几个Darling I love you 的英语不用太多的英文水平都能看懂吧?和kent懂不懂英语没关系。再说了和Rob分手好几年了,有必要几年后在香港为Rob自杀吗?在香港为你自杀,你也不知道,也没这个必要。
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Hey
8 years ago
How did u tell that rob is not mr right?
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weihong31
8 years ago
I definitely tell you the person is not you, you are not Mr.right.
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Poey
8 years ago
used 8 hours to finished your love story. Thanks so much your great love and care to our angel. it's very touching!

Have you ever think of writing a letter to Tong to talk about your question?
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Rob
8 years ago
I would like to get in contact with Kent, but I don't know how. I heard he doesn't know any English, therefore it is difficult to communicate with him, even if I did find him. Anyway I don't think he is interested in talking to me, he keeps his memories of Barbara to himself, pity.
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lwyllw
8 years ago
it is the most possible to give the last words 'Darling,I love you' to you
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fukada
8 years ago
she was referring to kent
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fukada
8 years ago
“Darling, I love you”肯定是不会写给你的,写给汤的,barbara到最后对汤爱的很深,吴岱融,新加坡人,长的像极香港的汤镇业,所以在当时曾有“新加坡之汤镇业”之称。翁美玲在当地开演唱会时竟专门去找过吴岱融还有合照。说你这种情况下,这句话会写给你吗?
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zfj123888
8 years ago
我认为“Darling I love you"是写给你的。在中国大陆国语是“我爱你” ,粤语是“我中意你”。而且那时候翁和那个姓汤的已经分手了,只是没有公开罢了,翁的男朋友是邹世龙。既然说翁对汤余情未了,为什么不说是对你余情未了呢?初恋是最令人难忘的。而且从恋爱时间长度是和你最长的。翁和你分手后,既没有和再联系,在香港也没有向别人透露过这段恋情,那是因为这是她内心的伤疤。相反和汤分手后,却还联系,我甚至怀疑翁没有真正爱过汤,只不过她在香港没有亲人,找过依靠罢了。
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James Chen
8 years ago
First we need to confirm this action if true. If it is true,
I think it is for Kent Tong.
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Rachel
8 years ago
Hi Rob,
Really thanks for your effort on this website! There is a newspaper mentioned about Barbara today as today is the 30th years Barbara left us. I never know about this website before. It really helps me to know more about Barbara whom we miss her so much!
I am going to visit England this summer, I hope I can go to visit those places you have mentioned... really sweet memories not only for you... but also for Barbara's fan.
I am so happy that you have a happy family and enjoy your life so much. Wishing you, your wife and your daughters have a joyful life.
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BartyBoy
8 years ago
Hi Rob, not sure if you will see this message, seeing your website has been running for some good years now for Barbara. I think instead of trying to find out who her 'last statement' was referred to, why don't you ask yourself, 1) if it was referred to you, what are you going to do about it? 2) if it was not referred to you, how do you feel about it?

I believe you still love and miss Barbara. To create and run a website like this takes a lot of time and effort. Have you heard of a song called 'Time in a bottle' by Jim Croce. I think the lyrics can probably describe your feelings to Barbara over the years.

You are very lucky to have a box full of the bittersweet memories with Barbara. Don't let your love to her grow old!

Take care and all the best!

Bart
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blingbling
9 years ago
Its not a good choice to save relationship of her and Kent. Kent did not betray BY but he didn't protect her from media when they blow up about Kent-Sandra then asked BY abt her feeling, and he was not sensitive to realize BY was falling in depression. Overall I think he did not do anything wrong to her (but he doesn't match with her, she need a person who can read her thought and understand her feeling more). I guess that she knew KT didnt betray her, so when she died, she still love him so much and wrote that note.

I'm also not sure if she will not commit suicide once she end up with you, her emotions and characteristics, ...might make her on the edge of death. I wish her next life will be full of happiness.
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blingbling
9 years ago
Thank you Rob for all of your comforts. Honestly I believe that if you willing to beside her and went to Hong Kong, she would not love Kent Tong, but it didn't happen. I have been searching alot about how Kent treated BY during 1982-1985 and went to the conclusion that the last sentence ''Darling I love you' is for Kent. I love BY so much and not Kent, however I felt that Kent already behaved nicely and sincerely to BY, however BY is kind of person who easy get jealous, and pretend to be with someone to make her true love becomes envy (I noticed it when I watched her dramas called The New adventure of CLH and LOCH. I don't know if it affected her thinking making her immitated with Stephen Zhow Shi Lung).
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天马
9 years ago
我认为她是不想去死的,只是太伤心了,当一个人没有从阴暗的角落里走出来,别人也没有帮助她,我们作为旁观者一定要理解她,只是我们不知道她内心世界的伤痛,我们也应该尊重她的选择,也希望她在别一个世界里,不要轻易的拿自己的生命去伤害自己,因为那样你伤害到了许多爱你的人,也希望神给她一次重生的机会吧,原谅她一时的草率。
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MC
9 years ago
Darling I Love You is a name of an old song. Try Youtube it.
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jala
10 years ago
"i love you"
you=all people whom she had loved...her mom, ken, her friends, maybe even you included.
ps: love your garden, love the smiles of your children, love the farm animals....

i live in nyc, so i cannot have the living situation you have... the backyard, the farm, the animals, the children running in the backyard...appreciate the life you have now, appreciate the partner you have, appreciate the life you have now.... the present. thank you for sharing all these months:)

-jala
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Leon Guo
10 years ago
Rob,
Thanks for your sharing. Time passed, we all changed, but the love still at there. It's a little like the rabbit hole, do you think so? 沧海桑田-For Barbara Yung
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Cathy
10 years ago
Rob,

Barbara was lucky to have your love which gave her short life contents. I can understand how much misunderstanding she could get from a Chinese society in hk after she had spent so many years in England though Suicide was a bad choice.
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pxc
10 years ago
很多人很多时候都用英语去表达一些感情的。我有一个问题:那些话是翁美玲当晚写的吗?
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miss
10 years ago
I think she is writing to you in a person want to die, dying will recall the past, but you are her favorite, in the past you give her happiness, and first love is the most profound and the age is the most beautiful sweet in life, you and Barbara had the most beautiful and good life time although very short, she must be addressed to you
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zhou
10 years ago
我认为她是写给你的,在一个人想死临死前都会回忆过去,而你是她过去的最爱你在过去给过她快乐,而且初恋是最深刻的而初恋的那个年龄段是人的一生最美好甜美的,你和美玲渡过了人生最美好的年华虽然很短暂,她肯定写给你的! :sigh:
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seashell
10 years ago
because she still love you and miss you,she didnt forget you,她和你在一起的时光是最幸福的!
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Kirstin
10 years ago
Rob, thanks for the sharing for those romance, treasure memories with Barbara. in most of the pictures with you , I saw her smile. maybe that's her happiest moment in her life.it seems you are the one who really cherrish her among her all relationships. however, as time past, things changed a lot... what if you both can meet in the right timing, maybe there will be a difference happy end.
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Eric
10 years ago
Rob, Once again thank you for the stories. When Barbara passed, I was still a teenager. Now that I am "older and wiser", I still miss Barbara. I have recently re-watched her famous drama "The Legend of the Condor Heroes 射鵰英雄傳", she really captured my heart once again. I actually never knew that she spent so many years in UK (until now). I actually believe that when she wrote, "Darling, I love you"; it was meant for you. I believe that she realize that her so-called lover then, Kent, was just a playboy; that there was no one who cared for her as much as you did. Work Stress, news media, fatigue from day and night filming, travelings, did not help either. I hope to be able to connect with you via Facebook and will send you a message there. Thank you for the sharing. Eric, in USA; originally from HK.
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GG
10 years ago
I offer my analysis, please don't be offended.
1 - u did not take the engagement seriously. u 2 were engaged but u had a party on attitude and were not sad or despondent. if u were truly in love with her, every waking moment u should be feeling sadness not seeing her. Barbara took it seriously and which was why she was always sad u weren't there. I think in her mind, she told herself she waited 2 years and she couldn't wait anymore.

2 - To your relief, I don't think she was talking about her when she wrote the note. Like you said, she would love with 110% of her heart to her love. It would be difficult for someone like that to love both her current bf and her ex-bf. I think Barbara probably struggled for a long time with her feelings for u, but when she finally made up her mind, she would end it all and never look back - that's why she came to HK - too many bad memories and too many ghosts in UK.

My humble analysis....
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Rob
10 years ago
Hello GG, thank you for your analysis. Unfortunately we will never know the real truth.
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Jeff
10 years ago
Hi,

Does anyone know what happened to Barbara's mother and her stepfather, and uncle? Did they ever have children?

I guess may be they thought fame destroyed everything they loved so they decided to stay away from the public?
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Rob
10 years ago
Hello Jeff, So far I know is Barbara's mother still alive living near Cambridge in England. I know nothing about her stepfather as Barbara's mother divorced from him in the nineties. Barbara's uncle got married and had a son and a daughter. He died early 2000 of cancer.
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luya
10 years ago
个人觉得你在美玲的心中是一生都无法忘记的人,即将离开,你也许是她唯一牵挂的人吧,你现在生活的幸福对美玲也是一种回报吧,这是她愿意看到的吧,记得小学时知道了她离世的消息,我半夜都还在伤心的哭。愿她安息
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shaozhou liu
10 years ago
Thanks for sharing , I am one of Barbara's fans. We think fondly of her. Tonight I just saw her classical TV play broadcasted in mainland China.
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koma
10 years ago
Rob:我认为Barbara的"Darling, I love you"是写给你的。你要一直幸福地生活,就如和Barbara在一起幸福生活!
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Dora
10 years ago
Thank you ..
Sharing such a beautiful story
She'll be fine in heaven.

:lol:
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John
10 years ago
Thanks for sharing 谢谢分享
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BOB:
10 years ago
thanks for creating this wedbsite for us!
i think "darling, i love u"means she is speaking to u. she is really a nice and charming girl.so miss her !when i have free time ,i will come to this wedbsite,maybe when i have much more free time,i will ask my children to creat a facebook with me .
really thank u .nowdays i often remember her.she is really a superstar!
regards for u and ur family.
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greensleeves
10 years ago
I have read all your articles here .Maybe what you said are a little simple and unadorned like record or diary,but I am so touched that I cannot help reading your words with tears in my eyes.
Thank you for sharing all your warm and sad love story with us ,it make us re-understand Barbara who we like more .She have meet Mr.right ,but unfortunately, she didn't meet them at right time.Hope she can find peace and perfectness in heaven.

PS:Wonder what your mother replied to Barbara on how they live on if she plan to move to Holland and live with you .

在万能的天涯论坛上看到有关美玲荷兰男友为她建纪念站的链接后,进来一口气读完了她男友写的所有的流水帐文章,透过这些真实的照和朴实无华的文字,拼凑与想象着属于他们的美丽与忧愁并存的爱情中的点滴画面,唏嘘不已,虽说性格决定命运,但在对的时间遇到对的人,结局是不是可能完全会不一样呢?愿美玲安息,在天堂里找到属于她的完美。

PS.想知道当年他的荷兰妈妈是如何回答美玲请求负担她和妈妈生活的问题。
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Lilian
10 years ago
If she could be able to marry you, that would be so different!
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Heaven and Earth
10 years ago
As for your last question, has anybody ever checked the date on the calendar where she wrote the phrase? That might be a clue to the meaning.
This is one of the greatest love stories I've ever read about.
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Heaven and Earth
10 years ago
Thank you Rob for your stories. You ve made a grown man cry. Barbara is a legend, probably the biggest Asian screen legend there ever was, a Chinese Marilyn Monroe. Her life was more dramatic than any TV soap opera/series ever made.
Yours and Barbara's love story should be a lesson to all parents who forbid their children from loving others due to cultural and racial difference, especially first and second generation immigrants. Her life so mirrors my family's journey into foreign lands that it hit me quite personally.
You are probably one of the luckiest man on earth and you should understand that you have an amazing love story with, now it can be said, a truly GOOD chinese girl, according to both Eastern and Western standards. Her unwilling to leave her mother is a testament to her filial piety, one of the most important character of a person of Chinese heritage.
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Chen
11 years ago
Thank you for your sharing.
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C
11 years ago
http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=羅君左&hl=en&client=safari&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=QDEzUbbBL46r0AW21IHQBQ&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1024&bih=672&sei=RTEzUZeBAeeH0AXe4YCYCg#biv=i%7C21%3Bd%7CkVty2Ve_-GlNVM%3A

http://blog.yahoo.com/_QUH66P6CSB2VOOYELNQHYIS4DM/articles/601731
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b
11 years ago
rip:'(
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lynn
11 years ago
Rob,thanks so much for leting us know more about Barbara.What a pity that Barbara,who is so fantastic a girl,can't she get what she really want and finally be happy.Life is all about making choices,hope that all the couples in love around the world won't say goodbye easily,cause it's never an easy thing for both to let go and move on,especially for women,may her rest in peace.Lastly,best wishes to you and your famlily!
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David Ko
11 years ago
Rob,

I am from Barbara's era. I immigrated to the USA about the same time Barbara left HK. I have never been back but Barbara's on screen legacy was the best memory of HK. You and I are about the same age and I love the music you chose for the YouTube clips you posted. I view it daily. Thank you for sharing your stories with all of us!

David
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rob
11 years ago
Hello David, the music had a special meaning for Barbara, it reminded her of het happy school days in HK (and of her 1st boyfriend there).
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Ben
11 years ago
Hi, i reviewed the part once again, Ms Lee just said the man who knocked Barbara's door is not Kent. I think the paragraph you pasted made a mistake of it.

if you cant view the video from that link,you may try to find it on youtube.
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Guest
11 years ago
Has anyone seen an interview of 李香琴 on 志雲飯局? I can't find a link to the video anymore, but in the interview, Lee said, “她(翁美玲)那段時間很不開心,說上一兩句話便哭,我經常勸她不要為感情傷心,趁現在當紅,應該把心思放在事業上。”李香琴回憶說:“她的死估計是註定的,她曾打電話給一個男人(不是湯鎮業),但那個男人關了機,另一個男人到她家敲門,但以為沒人就走了,所以她親媽媽也說:‘女兒的命就在那個人的手指隙漏走了!’”. That she made a phone call to someone that night, but it's not Ken. Below is a link with the content of the interview.

http://www.barbarayung.net/report/report029.htm
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Ben
11 years ago
please get link below
http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/NjIs89PlFhg/

starting at 11:13, ending at 13:42, Ms Lee talked about Barbara.
She said one man Barbara tried to call is Kent,but his phone was turned off; another man (Ms Lee didn't mentioned his name,but should be Stephen Chau/邹世龍 accord to other report ) Barbara called and told him she was unhappy, the man rushed into her residence, knocked the door, but no reponse,then he left.if he called police immediately, Barbara might be saved once more.
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Guest
11 years ago
I am confused... Tried the link but the video could not be streamed outside mainland China. From the paragraph I pasted, Miss Lee said that Barbara tried to called a man that night, then stated it wasn't Kent in bracket -(不是湯鎮業 ). Could it be possible that there was someone else in the picture? Mr Chan also interviewed 苗喬衛 in the series, he said that Barbara and Kent broke up a month before she passed, and that her love life was complicated at the time, he is not certain but there could be another man in the picture.
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kk
11 years ago
It was just my sense about it. My wife and I speak to each other 99% in Chinese (Cantonese)and we never say "I love you" in Chinese but only in English. That is same to all our friends as far as I know. It's strange, isn't it? I also just imagined I was Barbara when she was about to end her life. The person had to be the dearest in her heart at that desperate moment and there was only one who ranked above her mother. Now, I think we all should move on. No more rights or wrongs & blame or praise. Everyone who know Barbara should be glad that we have met such a wonderful person who gave us lots of memories that we'll never forget. Her legacy will live on and on.
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Rob
11 years ago
I would be very relieved if it is true what you wrote, thank you for your analysis.
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kk
11 years ago
I finally finished the stories. what a line you used to end a love story like this. I also have almost read and listened all news, interviews, and letters of Barbara and I don't think it was meant to you. In Hong Kong, generation born after 50's, 99% will say "I love you" to their partners in English. That could be different in mainland China where people speak Mandarin. I think you was out of her mind when Barbara met Kent Tong who unfortunately didn't see the love between them the way as Barbara did. She wanted a forever true love and a family that she thought Kent could give her. So she publicly acknowledged the affair with Kent as soon as it happened. That was so unusual for a rising star who just started her glorious career. Also, if I was to die and to leave someone a message, the one had to be very important and he/she would surely see the message. At that time, I don't see anyone, except Kent. Well,I don't think you would feel better had it been meant to you. Wouldn't you?
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Ben
11 years ago
Although it is common that hk people like Barbara will call someone in English, especially his/her English name, but the key point is what did Barbara call Kent Tong in private. I think the best way to make clear of this question is to ask Kent has Barbara ever call him as "Darling".if never, it is hard to believe Barbara would call him with "Darling" at the last moment of her life.
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Jennifer
11 years ago
Definitely for you. Barbara was quite famous in Mainland of China due to a famous series played in 1983.The name is "Legend of the Condor Heroes". I was growing up while watching this series. It was really to hear she committed suicide.
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sissi
11 years ago
surely for you.
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Fairchild
5 years ago
In that interview, Michael confirmed quite a few times that Barbara and Kent ALREADY SPLIT UP. Barbara had another boyfriend - Stephen Chow Sai-lung, she told the reporters many times. When Michael referred to an ex, it could only mean Kent because she's been calling him all night. Her LAST message to KENT "if he didn't call back, he'd never hear from her again" indicated that she's desperate to hear from Kent, an ex-boyfriend, not Rob! Her new boyfriend Stephen Chow would know what's going on that night because he went to her flat after talking to Barbara, he went back to her flat again the next day and discovered her. In a police statement, Chow described "Yung as depressed and restless in a phone call the night before and speculation followed about a failed romance with actor Kent Tong Chun-yip."

https://www.scmp.com/magazines/post-magazine/short-reads/article/2093884/when-hong-kong-tv-actress-barbara-yung-died-may
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Fairchild
5 years ago
I feel that people wanted a fairy-tale with Barbara + Rob and twisted the fact to support it.
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Angela
11 years ago
Hi Rob, everytime I read your story I become emotional. To logically analyze your question, the last few words Barbara left were written in English yet Kent is a Chinese who received educaion in a Chinese society which I don't think he appreciates the word "darling". As Chinese, my husband and I never called each other "darling" though both of us are quite westernized, we had lived in Canada for many years. Chinese are just not used to calling each other "darling". Barbara didn't say that to her family either. If you have a chance to see the letters that she wrote to her family, you would notice that all the letters were written in Chinese, therefore her last few words weren't meant for her family either. Those few words were meant for you, Rob.
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Thup
11 years ago
Dear Rob, thank u very much for sharing your memories with Barbara. I am so glad that you gave her such a wonderful company that even during her last moment she was thinking about you. "On the night that Barbara died, the last words were written in English which means she was still thinking about you.
Being emigrant is like very hard to survive. I'm telling you this because I am first generation in the united states (leaving my parents and family back home) and sometimes it feels so hard to survive. But you gave such a good company to Barbara that I really appreciate and thankful to you.
Rob, keep in touch and good luck for everything.
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Karin
11 years ago
Thank you Rob for sharing this touching story. I am really grateful to be able know more about her past. And thats make me very curious why do the chinese decided to migrate abroad and yet still keep to their own circle. However I strongly believed her happiest moments were when she was still with you sooo I think the letter is for you.
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Chris from Singapore
11 years ago
Thanks Rob for the stories. Barbara was iconic and in my heart since I was a kid. I am 41 now. When she left the world, I was filled with immense sadness. Your stories helped me know another beautiful part of her life. Glad you have a happy family.
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Sylvia
11 years ago
Dear Rob, thank you for the website. You have done a great job. I wish you and your family health and happiness.
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Kim
11 years ago
Dear Rob, Love the stories you've shared here...so touching but also felt sadly you guys are not getting longer at the end. This did reminded when I was deep in love with someone for my past 15 years ago. The first love you would never ever forgotten even we're already got married and had a child. How sweet and means so much for us. Love Barbara, she is so beautiful. I believed in the next fortune she would be having a good life with her beloved family and sweetheart! She was left but her soul would never gone maybe she was somewhere just we don't know where she is. Btw, Please do cherish all your loves around you! We wouldn't know will what happens by tomorrow. Do showing off your loves to someone you're means a lot!! An abundant of blessings from me to your family.
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VK
11 years ago
sigh...
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Veronica
11 years ago
Rob, thank you very much for your sharing. I love barbara very much, now i am a mammy of 2 kids, Barbara's sweet face always in my mind.
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carol
11 years ago
Rob, Thanks for sharing your beautiful life you had with Barbara. Those memories are precious. I enjoyed reading it!
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carol
11 years ago
There's an interview with Michael Miu on youtube which he talked about Barbara. He thought Barbara whom he called Yung committed suicide was because at that time her love life was very ambivalent. She didn't know whether to be with Kent Tong, or her ex-boyfriend (you?) or maybe there was another boyfriend. She was very confused about her love life and couldn't control it. I don't know when the interview was done and how Michael would have known that there was a previous boyfriend. Perhaps she had mentioned it to him before?

Anyway, regards to her last words written. Did she ever call you darling? In Michael's interview, I found out that she called Kent, "son" in Cantonese so I don't know if that translates to "darling" in English as I didn't grow up/live in HK and am not very fluent in the language. But, I did a google translate on "darling" and one of the Chinese translations was "baby".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYlsNQIGgl0&feature=relmfu
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Rob
11 years ago
Hello Carol,
I know about the interview, someone send me a translation. I will publish it on this website when I have more time. Barbara did call me darling but she might have used this for other (boy)friends aswell.
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Violette Li
11 years ago
Dear Rob, I had read the whole story about you and Barbara, my only comment to you is, you are a bit selfish and never think in her situation. Anyway, she passed away for almost 27 years (May 14, 1985). Actually, it was a big shock to me when I heard the news after a public examination, and May 14 is only 4 days after my birthday. So I will never forget!
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stella ho
11 years ago
dear rob

thank you for barbara memorial in details. God bless your family and may you cherish your wife and children. To us barbara will live forever in our memories.
She will be sadly missed forever.
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Red Robin
12 years ago
again, Thank you so much for this website.
I know Barbara more and even love her more.

Happy New Year 2012 to everyone
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Red Robin
12 years ago
Hello Rob and all Barbara's fans. I'm a Barbara's Thai fan in Canada.
I had watched LOCH when I was about 15. Barbara was the first อึ้งย้ง I ever know and most impressive until today. I found your website by searching Barbara's name. I have been reading the story for months. After done that, I had learnt some things. There's no if clause question about her past anymore. People had the past that we couldn't fix it but move on.Also it doesn't matter who is the guy she mentioned to in "darling, I love you". The matter is who really loves her. I believe you don't forget those times and memories between you and her. Likewise, other people for example, KT and other friends have their own memories with her too. As a mother, I learn that I have to talk and understand what my children want, not what I want them to be and so demanding. It might end up with I never know my own kids or worse. Anyway I'm glad for you that you have a happy family. Barbara will remain in our heart forever.
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Melanie
12 years ago
Read my next translation which hopefully will be done by Thursday night(my time). only on Thurday nighthave I have time to do the transaltion. You guy will find some answers why Barbara felt "loneliness".
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Anonymous
12 years ago
I think BARBARA has profound deep emptiness after breaking with Rob. She walked and breathed with all this "loneliness" in her eventhough she became a famous star.
I think deep down, BOTH of you still love each other dearly. U all were meant to be "love birds" but not "husband/wife". This is fate. SAD STORY but beautiful & special.
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A
12 years ago
Thanks for your stories and website, but I feel even more sorry for Barbara's life and death by finishing reading all your stories... basic by she never got a chance to go with you to Holland with support or without starving. I know young couples always end their love with realistic, but silly me, i kinda wish she had never met you, a man never consider the appropriate future with her,and a person did not even dare to talk to her mother.I wonder maybe her life would be totally different , maybe a happy family with husband and kids, if she met another man who were more responsible and could give her future. Anyhow maybe that's her destiny to meet you and never got rid of loneliness in her whole life. I feel so sorry for her, really, wish god takes care her well.
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oli
12 years ago
well, i supose if they were written in Dutch,it would be for u,in this case, i think it was for all of us who love her, i really like your writting, thanks for bringing her back to our memory,these stories n photos made me cried n cried,take care, mate, u r a good man
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Barfan
12 years ago
that's such a terrific way to end the stories! so touching! i don't know the answer either, but i do know that first love is best love. or, maybe the answer is not the point in the first place!
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Jade
12 years ago
Why did she write it in english? I didn't know about this but who knows, it probably was for you but then again, I'm sure by this point in her life she wasn't even thinking straight anymore, so who knows? Sounds like you guys did have some true love there and you guys went through so much together. Its sad that it didn't work out but at least you're happy in the end. Thx for posting all the nice stories. I loved Barbara in all her series because she was soo cute and such a good actress, and I was wondered why someone so young and pretty would want to die. But now after reading your side of things, I have a better understanding of how she was.
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R
12 years ago
I did not speculate about Barbara and have never done so about anything Rob has shared. I viewed it as merely his own perspective of her which has its biasness. The fact that Barbara tried to commit suicide multiple times and the fact it isn't normal is not speculation. Do review mental health journals and you will see that an emotionally and mentally healthy person does not attempt suicide once or multiple times. And those who do, statistically end up dead after multiple attempts. I mentioned that. How is that speculation when I quoted facts? What fans have done over the years is blame Ken, her mother and everything else. Fans should quit the blaming. Good, bad, whatever...it's all moot for she's dead and nothing will ever bring her back. Let it be. Let her rest in peace. What she did or said was the distant past. She traveled the journey she was meant to and it ended as it was fated to.
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Love MB
12 years ago
I can address your speculations, but I rather not. It will never end and this thread is meant for people to share their thoughts, and have it not be dominated by any particular person(s) views. It is disrepectful towards other fans.
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R
12 years ago
It's pointless to second guess and wonder what Barbara meant or what she could have chosen instead because only 1 person knew the answer: Barbara! Anyone else who tries to tell you anything would merely be speculating and projecting their own biasness. Barbara died when I was 15. It hit me hard for she was the first person I liked who had died and from suicide. Then I wondered so much about why she died, why she did what she did. Today, so many years later...my sadness for Barbara's death still exists but I don't dwell on the why, the how or the could have beens. I have long accepted that it was her fate, it was what her life came to be. It was Barbara's journey and it was meant to end when it did even if we don't understand the reasons why. When those we know die before their time, their death is meant to remind us of the preciousness of life. We each carry Barbara with us as we live each day continuing with what she did not have which was to live on. So live on and keep living on!
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Love MB
12 years ago
R-Rob put a question out there. I, like many others here are merely trying to address that question and offering our opinions. Nobody is claiming they know the answer because you are right, only Barbara knows. Lets not forget that everyone here shares your fondness of Barbara and sadness over her death. We are all fans.
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R
12 years ago
My point is it's pointless to ask a loaded question that loops around because no one knows the answer except the deceased person. Since Barbara did not leave a suicide note, no one will ever know. Asking a question with an answer that loops on and on generates nothing but speculation. Maybe Barbara's "I Love You" was targeted to Rob. Maybe it was for Ken Tong. Maybe it was for someone else. Does it really matter? Barbara has long died and the people whom she left behind has moved on with their lives. Why disrespect Barbara by indulging in speculations? Put yourselves in Barbara's shoes. If you had passed away, would you like others to speculate and indulge in rumors about you? Probably not.
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Love MB
12 years ago
Who is spreading rumors and disrespecting Barbara? I don't see anyone here that is doing that. They are all offering their thoughts and opinions just like yourself. Also if you check your prior comments on this thread, you speculated things about her and offered your thoughts based on things you've read. Nobody is accusing you of disrepecting the memory of Barbara, and you shouldn't accuse other fans either. I hope we can come to a truce because nobody is really saying anything different from you. Majority of us shares your opinion and grievance. To end this, I'll apologize for whatever it is that was said that offended you.
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Love MB
12 years ago
I believe this is the start of her finding her real interest, as I don't believe she went into acting just to pass the time. She maybe troubled by love, but in all else, she definitely knows what she wants. For these reasons, I don't think you should feel responsible or feel bad about your break up. As for your "last question", it could have been directed to anyone because Hong Kong residents do speak, understand and write English. They were under British rule for many years, thus English is known as a second language. I hope you or anyone else that reads this don't take offense to my comment. I am merely making an observation based on your story and the stories of her life after you. I think both of you cherished the love and time you had together, but both of you went your seperate ways to find yourself. Unfortunately, Barbara ended her life too soon. However, I am happy that you found your true love with your partner and blessed with a great family! :)
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Love MB
12 years ago
I didn't get a chance to address your "last question" rob. i believe from your story what you guys had was a sweet young love, during a period in barbara's life where she need to find comfort and escape. However, I do believe that she moved on as you moved on. I don't believe she chose her mom over you or else she would have done it long ago, and not make her life so complicated. From your story, I saw it like you both grew and saw that things were changing. She seem to be a person who follows her heart. It's interesting, but if you reread your story, you'll find that perhaps, barbara's heart never left HK, and she had always wanted to go back. She was excited at the chance to win Miss Chinatown for a trip to Hong Kong. Also during your first break up, you mentioned that she did some modeling and became further involve with the Chinatown pageant.
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Anonymous
12 years ago
Rob, U are a good man. I think Barbara must have made a very diffult decision not following you to Holland and chose her mom instead. She gave up the "love of her life" for her mom. In the end, she could not find another man that treat her well as you did. She must have been very heart broken. She took her own life and left her mom behind. If she had followed you, she might have been still alive today... Then we would not have known her. if she followed you, her mom might have given you a very hard time!!!!
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Angel
12 years ago
Rob, thank you so much for sharing with us your love story with Barbara. You made us understand a lot more about Barbara. I guess I know what she was thinking, how she felt and what she wanted when she broke up with you as I always have the same thoughts. However, no matter what, I'm definitely sure she still loved you very much at that time but being mature and loving daughter, she made the wrong decision. I remember you once asked if she had any boyfriends when you were separated. I guess even she did, they were not serious ones. She was not the type of girl who could break up with someone and then start a new one within a short period of time. She might allow admirers around but definitely they're couldn't replace your position deep down her heart. Once again, thank you very much. Barbara would be proud to have had fallen in love with you when she was alive.
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Love MB
12 years ago
I doubt she found anyone that understood her the way she wanted to be understood anywhere, whether it be in England or HK. Thus, her constant feeling of loneliness and lack of hope, even when she is in a relationship. As the old saying goes, "you have to love yourself before someone else can love you." It is such a shame because if she held on a bit longer...she might have found the light at the end of the tunnel, and met the right man and had the kind of life or a better life that she desired. This possibility is what always saddens me. She didn't see how many people around her adored her.
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R
12 years ago
It is important to remember that Barbara was still very young and inexperienced about life when she died. Though she had experienced a more robust life in HK as an actress, she was still learning about herself, the world around her and life in general. You could be right about her need to be understood. But I also think (from Rob's stories) that she was a very volatile and somewhat fragile person with emotional ups and downs. These types of ups and downs, and their resulting suicide attempts are signs of problems, likely clinical depression or even bipolar. In Asia and in Asian families, such illnesses are not widely discussed and there is enormous stigma attached. Barbara might still be around if she had the professional help she needed. Many people with psychiatric problems do not outwardly display problems. They seem very functional but they are not. Leslie Cheung was very successful and functional but committed suicide due to depression.
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Love MB
12 years ago
Thanks Rob for sharing Barbara stories in great details. Like many, I have been a fan of hers for a long time and it is intriguing to read about someone you admire and respect. I am greatly sadden by her death to this day, but I understand it. She sounds like a lovely person who felt deeply about the world, but is insecure about herself. Many artists are like this, and Barbara is an artist who feels things quite deeply. This is apparent in Rob's stories. I can agree to speculate that she died by committing suicide, but I disagree with most people that it is due to relationship issue alone. Suicide is never caused by one issue, but series of issues that accumulates over a period of time. If there are no outlet for her to address these issues, then it will always be the demon that follows her. It appears that she has had to deal with a lot of emotional issues from childhood and it continued to her short adult life.
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R
12 years ago
There were MANY speculations as to how/why Barbara died. These speculations included an accidental death. However this can be very quickly ruled out to not be true if you studied the hard evidence and the events on the 12 hours leading up to her death. The evidence showed she committed suicide. Rob's many stories are also supporting narrative evidence of her suicide. Barbara had a history of past suicides. Statistically those who attempt suicide perform multiple instances of it and inevitably they die from one of these attempts. And yes, those who are prone to suicides do have emotional problems to which they should seek professional counseling/help. Barbara never got the professional help she needed. Perhaps she was suffering from clinical depression and might have needed medication.
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tralalala
12 years ago
By reading everything about her from your account it sounded like she had depression, maybe if she had got some help it she wouldn't have taken her life
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R
12 years ago
Friends and fans of Barbara who were teens or adults when she was alive will always remember her because of the tragedy that fell on her. When someone dies so tragically, it never leaves your mind. If Barbara were still alive today and let's say she were still an actor, she might have been just another actor whom we know. It is because she died young and tragically that it hits us, plays deeply with our emotions and makes us wonder what/how it might have been had she not died. Also when someone dies from suicide and the real reasons are not known, it causes us to want to explore into why/how/when/what.
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Karen
12 years ago
Rob,
Thank you very much for your great stories!
You wish Barbara refer you, I think she was just very lonely being by herself in HK. She needed someone to Love about her.
You should really back to reality, take good care of your family. It is not fair to your spouse, if you keep thinking about Barbara.
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Not Suicidal???
12 years ago
Not Suicide? Barbara has a history of suicides (twice in England). Just because she took sleeping pills twice that did not work DOESN'T mean that she could not resort to using "gas". I have a sister-in-law who is suicidal several times. At times she acts very aggressive and very in control, at other times she is in a complete "emotional mess". People who have erratic ups and downs can have extreme mood swings!
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lyn
12 years ago
I know that u all want to believe that she committed suicide. But it just didn't ring the same pattern.

Firstly, She usually committed suicide by swallowing the pills, not gas.
Secondly, She tried to get out to the door, but it was too late.

Gas leaking is a very common accident. it's important to check it every 2 years by a licenced plumber.
it's sad to lose her though.. but she's an ageless legend.
Congratulation on your twins Rob..
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Mei Ling Fan
12 years ago
Lyn, you have a point there on the first paragraph. I don't belief it either.

There was a radio interview in March 1985 and Barbara was optimistic about her future. Why would someone that has this thinking just made a silly move.

Once again, IT MIGHT NOT BE ABOUT her broken relationship with Kent Tong. She had said in the radio interview THEY ARE GOOD FRIENDS WHO CARED FOR EACH OTHER. The media and the TV station just make it as through they are a pair and Barbara HATED the way that was being done. :sigh:
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Hannah
12 years ago
Rob, I can't thank you enough for everything you have created with this website. For many of us, you have turned our 2 dimensional Barbara into 3 dimensional. So many things I never ever knew about Barbara has come to light. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your personal stories with us.
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Hannah
12 years ago
Everyone has a breaking point. Her's came when she was in Hong Kong. If she never went to Hong Kong, I believe the same thing could have happened in England. It was just a matter of time.
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abc
12 years ago
Hi Rob,
As LULU in previous message asked "Why does BARBARA commit suicide in Hongkong? Rob. Since u know Barbara for about 5 yrs and with all the information that you collected from Barbara's fans, did you come up with theory of the suicide?
>> Barbara did not go to HOLLAND with you because of her mom. Why then she commit suicide and left her mom high & dry to cope on her own? (I don't think her mom is a great mom - but I think Barbara's actions are ironic.)
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lulu
12 years ago
Can you give us your insight as to why she committed suicide in hong kong?
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Rob
12 years ago
I am not sure yet if I should. Like al the other theories my theory is just a theory. It must not be seen as the truth (I am afraid that people will confuse it with the truth). My theory is just based on what I know (or have been told) and that put together in a for me acceptable way. Only my theory very much different from the theories I have heard till now. Basicly because it is based on what already was starting in England.
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Mei Ling Fan
12 years ago
Rob,

First of all thank you for these stories of Barbara. The pieces of the puzzles are almost completed.

Secondly, thank you for posting this lovely black and white pic of Barbara which you shared with us on You Tube.
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zhang ly
12 years ago
Stories are over,but life goes on.
At last you left us a nice question.Actually I never regard it as a question before knowing your stories.But now I do think it really means something.
Only Barbara knew the answer, but she passed away. So there could be many answers to it for people to guess, But I prefer to choose the one in your heart.

Rob, Thank you.
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tot so
12 years ago
i remembered i read somewhere in those old magazine that "Daring, I Love You" was written on her calendar.
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guest
12 years ago
the sentence Darling I love u she wrote make me feel like crying. She is referring to u! If is Kent, she will write in Chinese to him not English. :sigh:
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Hey
12 years ago
Hello Rob, Can you show me where this sentence - darling, i love you. I can't remember where i read it. :P Thanks.
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anonymous
12 years ago
Finally the last words Barbara wrote could be explained!
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anonymous
12 years ago
My guess is that she was referring to you.
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